S.W.M.B.O. & Bob's 14th Anniversary chili dog & pumpkin outing

Click photos to enlarge.

We'd been up since dawn and hadn't eaten anything on our wedding day, so as we drove 20 miles north to our reception dinner, we were starving, and pulled off U.S. Route 5 at Tom's Long Dogs for our first meal as husband and wife. The bride in her wedding gown and the groom in his suit (and cowboy boots) ate Tom's delicious and super-sloppy foot-long chili cheese dogs in the car, leaning out over the parking lot so we wouldn't drip chili on ourselves.

Every year since then we celebrate our anniversary with chili dogs and onion rings and fries at Tom's Long Dogs. It's also harvest time at the nearby Malinowski Pumpkin Farm, so we Halloween-up and buy some magnificent pumpkins and colorful gourds.

S.W.M.B.O. bought me a gorgeous reproduction fairy tale book first published in 1913. I researched and found that the traditional gift for the 14th Anniversary is ivory, but I didn't want to celebrate by slaughtering an elephant, so I bought the bride an excellent portable electric drill, and 3 bars of Ivory Soap (99 and 44/100 percent pure).

Vleeptron nominates Malala Yousafzai for today's Nobel Peace Prize

Click to enlarge.

This post may seem a bit sloppy and hasty and slapdash for Vleeptron, which is renowned throughout c-space for high, distinguished and thoughtful standards.

But we're in a bit of a hurry.

In a few hours, Oslo will rise and shine, and the Norwegian Nobel Committee will announce this year's recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Vleeptron is hoping the Committee will award the Peace Prize to Malala Yousafzai, a 16-year-old Pakistani who has captured the world's attention and admiration for her courageous advocacy of education for girls.

That would almost certainly make her the youngest recipient of the Peace Prize, which has been awarded each year since 1901 (with a few skipped years in which the Committee couldn't find enough Peace to merit awarding the prize).

Okay, so Vleeptron has been late and busy and slow, so this post, and the image at top, are probably filled with horrible errors and mistakes and ignorances.

We're trying to present Malala Yousafzai's name in her native language, Pashto, along with some (filched) school-kid Pashto vocabulary words.

But Malala Yousafzai first achieved fame blogging for the BBC in Urdu about her childhood experiences during war and violence in the Swat region of Pakistan.

So Vleeptron will be most grateful if anyone who actually knows (or has opinions) about this stuff is kind enough to Leave A Comment about Pashto, Urdu, Swat, Pakistan, childhood education -- and of course about Malala Yousafzai (who currently lives in Birmingham, England UK).

But despite Vleeptron's abysmal ignorance about all these things, we're still hoping the Prize goes to Malala Yousafzai.

We think that would be a tremendously good thing for Earth, for Peace, for children, for everybody's future.

unspeakable scum who shut down US government stiffs families of US troops killed in Afghanistan

The New York Times
daily broadsheet, New York City USA
Tuesday 8 October 2013

Shutdown Denies
Death, Burial Benefits
to Families 
of 4 Dead Soldiers

by Jennifer Steinhauer

WASHINGTON -- The families of four soldiers killed in Afghanistan last weekend will not receive death benefits or the money to pay for their funerals because of the government shutdown.

The bodies of Sgt. Patrick C. Hawkins, 25; Pfc. Cody J. Patterson, 24; Sgt. Joseph M. Peters, 24; and First Lt. Jennifer M. Moreno, 25, will arrive at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware on Wednesday. The four soldiers were killed Sunday in the Zhari district of Kandahar Province when enemy forces attacked their unit with explosives.

But if their families want to meet the plane, they will have to pay their own way to Delaware.

Under the shutdown, Carl Woog, a Defense Department spokesman, said on Tuesday, "the Department of Defense does not currently have the authority to pay death gratuities and other key benefits for the survivors of service members killed in action."

The benefits include $100,000 to each family; a 12-month basic allowance for housing, usually given in a lump sum to survivors commensurate with the rank of the service member; and burial benefits. The benefits are also being withheld from the family of Lance Cpl. Jeremiah Collins Jr., 19, of the Marines, whose death on Saturday in Helmand Province is being investigated by the Pentagon.

New hardships caused by the shutdown seem to emerge every day as the standoff between President Obama and Congressional Republicans entered its second week. But the denial of benefits to the families of fallen soldiers -- however temporary -- led to an unusual burst of outrage.

Senators took the floor to express their anger. In the House, members scrambled to write a bill to remedy the problem.
 
"It’s an unbearable loss," Senator Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, the majority leader, said on the Senate floor of the soldiers’ families. "But now they’re being denied death benefits because of this senseless shutdown. It’s shameful and embarrassing.
 
"There are no words to describe this situation," he said.

Pentagon military and civilian personnel have largely escaped furloughs through legislation signed by President Obama and on orders from the defense secretary. But the death benefits are not covered by either move.

Last week, Congress quickly passed the Pay Our Military Act to ensure that active-duty soldiers and civilian support staff members were paid for their work. Over the weekend, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said the Pentagon concluded that most of its 400,000 civilian employees were covered by the bill.

Some House Republicans have suggested, without citing specific language in the bill, that it also covered death benefits. 

"The intent of Congress was to permit D.O.D. to honor all payment and allowances to service members," Representative Duncan Hunter, Republican of California, said in a letter to Mr. Hagel.
 
"The department’s decision to not make these payments is a matter of choice," he added.
"And until a correction is made to the law, it is up to you to make the appropriate judgment based on a more correct interpretation."

The House Appropriations Committee is moving to get a bill to the floor to reinstate the benefits as early as Wednesday.

“Frankly, I think it’s disgraceful that they’re withholding these benefits,” Speaker John A. Boehner said in a brief news conference Tuesday afternoon. “But again tomorrow, the House is going to act specifically on this and I hope the president will sign it.”

The Pentagon strongly denied that the current legislation allowed for benefits to be paid without further Congressional action.

“The fact that the House is developing new legislation on this matter shows Congress fully understands that D.O.D. does not have the legal authority to provide these death benefits,” a senior military official said. “Secretary Hagel is outraged and disgusted by this situation, but the law is clear.”

Such legislation is likely to have strong support in both the House and Senate. “We ought to sit down and work it out,” said Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona.

After Mr. Reid spoke, Senator Ted Cruz, Republican of Texas, and one of the architects of the shutdown, came to the Senate floor to say, “All of us weep for those servicemen and women who have lost their lives in defense of our great nation, and I would note that this Senate can right now today move to correct the problem.”

Senator Joe Manchin III, Democrat of West Virginia, announced Tuesday that he had worked with Ken Fisher, the chief executive of Fisher House Foundation, a service group for veterans, to give families an advance grant to cover flights, hotels and other incidental costs for family members to attend funerals until the government can make reimbursements.
 
"After losing a loved one in service to our nation, these families should not have to endure more pain as the result of political squabbling," Mr. Fisher said in a statement.

Jonathan Weisman contributed reporting.

A version of this article appears in print on October 9, 2013, on page A20 of the New York edition with the headline: Shutdown Denies Death and Burial Benefits to Families of 4 Dead Soldiers.- 30 -

the view out our bedroom window / Our Big Moment

Click image to enlarge.

Believe it or not, this is what I saw outside the upstairs bedroom window the other day.

ADDENDUM

In compliance with the Truth In Blogging Act of 2004, Vleeptron confesses that this image is Not 100% Natural & Organic.

It is indeed the view from our bedroom window.

But Vleeptron uhhhh Photoshopped out the satellite dish. 

Satellite dishes are not natural components of the Great Boreal Deciduous Hardwood Forest.

(Actually, not Photoshop ... Vleeptron distorts its images and tells its visual untruths with down-and-dirty free MSPaint.)

This is Our Big Moment, the color explosion of the leaves of the great boreal deciduous hardwood forest. We do okay for tourism in all seasons, but Autumn is our big Tourist Trap -- cityfolk from New York book New England ye Olde Countrie Inne rooms a year in advance to see this. And it sure is something to see.

What's happening is that the trees know Winter is coming soon, and to survive during the Dark Months, they need to capture all the light they can. By turning their leaves into these lurid colors, they selectively filter for the most energetic sunlight photons -- which they then turn into sugars via photosynthesis.

If you have a more accurate explanation of what the hell is going on here in our Big Moment, please Leave A Comment. But S.W.M.B.O., who actually studied this stuph at the University of New Hampshire, tells me "deciduous" means trees which drop their leaves and are bare during Winter.

When Jeanie (an Iowa native) visited us, she took dozens of photos -- all from the inside of the house out the windows. There's nothing remarkable about our house, but Jeez -- check outside! (Our black bears, wild turkeys, raccoons, owls and eagles like it, too.)

Tea Party's toxic tantrum shuts down US federal government / screw the American people, we're doing this for principle!

Click photo to enlarge.

Cape Cod has been a wildly popular summer ocean resort forever. In season, rents are huge; everyone wants to vacation in this gorgeous Atlantic region. The pressure to develop Cape Cod commercially is huge and relentless.

But since the administration of President Lyndon Johnson, a huge swath of seashore was set aside as The Cape Cod National Seashore. It's protected from development, and anyone can spend the day walking the magnificent beach, seeing the wildlife (sea lions bask on rocks just offshore, the beaches are sea turtle egg nests), swimming, picnicking.

In 1970, I had the pleasure of enjoying another great, huge National Seashore, Padre Island, a wild public treasure that stretches from Corpus Christi, Texas south to the Mexican border on the Gulf of Mexico.

As the above photo shows, the National Seashores (and National Parks and National Forests) have been closed since a bunch of Tea Party Republican assholes, led by US Senators Ted Cruz and Rand Paul, managed to shut down nearly every activity of the federal government.

They claim they've done it to force the repeal or de-funding of the Affordable Care Act -- its enemies call it Obamacare.

Which they can't achieve because the U.S. Senate is controlled by Democrats. The ACA is the Law of the Land, passed by both houses of Congress, signed by the President, and the US Supreme Court upheld its constitutionality when it was challenged by several "red states" -- states under Republican/Tea Party control.

So the Tea Party/Republican assholes are throwing a hissy-fit tantrum and holding their breath until they turn blue. The tantrum has taken the form of forcing the federal government to cease most of its functions and send its civilian employees home on unpaid furlough.

For S.W.M.B.O.and me, our encounter with The Federal Government Shutdown was a minor inconvenience. The seashore beach wasn't closed or the road chained shut; but the shutdown left the National Seashore with no employees who protect the National Seashore and its wilderness flora and land and marine fauna. The employees who clean up after visitors -- well, the Cape Cod National Seashore is going to get dirtier and uglier and more degraded the longer the shutdown lasts.

Fuck our public national wilderness treasure. Obamacare -- the USA's first attempt to put in some kind of national health care scheme to provide medical care to all regardless of economic status -- must be stopped no matter what, say Cruz and Rand Paul and all the Tea Party whack jobs, who seem to be scaring the crap out of the useless Republican Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner.

Well, Boehner can be replaced by more aggressive Tea Party whack jobs, and he doesn't want to lose the prestigious Speakership. (Regardless of party, the Speaker of the House is third in line of succession to the presidency.)

I could list hundreds of other federal programs and workers who have been furloughed -- ordered not to work -- for the last week. 

The one that most concerns the fragile recovering economy is the Internal Revenue Service. The housing market -- whose collapse sunk the economy under George W. Bush -- is recovering, but the first step to obtain a mortgage is to have the IRS evaluate the mortgage applicant to see that the applicant has paid all his/her federal taxes. 

Now no one answers the phone at the IRS, no mortgage applications can be approved, no mortgages can be issued, no houses can be sold. This is the most likely way the lingering shutdown will flip the recovering economy back into the Bush Toilet of the last 7 years.

Agricultural inspectors. The safety and purity of food which you take for granted every time you grocery shop -- as the shutdown goes on, the food becomes less well inspected, the food becomes less safe.

Head Start -- also since LBJ's presidency, a hugely successful pre-school education program -- has been suspended. Screw poor kids, screw a successful program that boosts their success in all their subsequent education.

WIC --

[Wikipedia:]

The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children is a federal assistance program of the Food and Nutrition Service (FNS) of the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) for healthcare and nutrition of low-income pregnant women, breastfeeding women, and infants and children under the age of five.

... has been suspended. Screw the health of infants and their access to milk and healthy food.

In case no one remembers, the Republican candidate Mitt Romney was soundly rejected by American voters in 2012, and Barack Obama was re-elected for his second 4-year term.

Mitt believed most Americans are entitlement bums who just want free stuff from the government. He said he likes to fire people. 

Don't get me started. But his whack elitist gazillionaire ideas, espoused by his party, continue to strangle the recovering prosperity and safety of the USA.

All this is pissing me off and making me sick. There's no "principle" here, as the Tea Party whacks and Boehner claim. With Obama in the White House, Democratic control of the U.S. Senate, and re the Affordable Care Act, even a sympathetic U.S. Supreme Court, all the whack Tea Party Republicans can do is poison and paralyze the federal government and sicken and stall the economic recovery.

So, in lieu of governing or legislating good things for the American people, that's what they're doing. They're making America sick.

There's one up side to this toxic tantrum. By the time the next presidential election cycle begins, the American people will be so angry with the Republicans and the whack Tea Party assholes that it's unlikely any Republican candidate can defeat the Democratic nominee. In its current makeup, the Republican party is incapable of re-capturing the White House. It's about to vanish from the American political landscape.
 

Visitation / the Mothership / Betty & Barney Hill Abduction commemorative

Click stamp to enlarge.

Intergalactic Postal Authority
Commemorative
Barney and Betty Hill UFO Abduction 
(Tuesday 19 September 1961)
USA 2¢ / © 2013 by Ron Bizer

debriefing re 52nd Anniversary of Betty & Barney Hill UFO Alien Abduction / I bought the t-shirt!

Click photo to enlarge.

e-mail to my Army pal what lives in the USA state shaped like a right-hand mitten so you can point to your palm to show where you grew up. 

********************

I have Strange News re our trip to the Betty & Barney Hill UFO Abduction Anniversary in New Hampshire. Unless I am repressing deep memories, I don't think we met any Aliens or got probed or got took on a quick ride to Zeta Reticuli.

Even more unexpected: NOBODY on that whole stretch of highway near the spiffy new NH Historical Marker was even aware it was the 52nd Anniversary.

[S.W.M.B.O. says the spiffy historical markers are manufactured in the New Hampshire state prison, like auto license plates. So a men's state prison burst sounds a lot like high school metal shop.] 

Except the guy at this gas/convenience store -- well, he didn't know it was the Anniversary, but he knew where the UFO Abduction postcards and t-shirts were. (C. let me buy the crummy Gray Man t-shirt -- it has that really cheesy homemade roadside freak-show patina.)

You get around, maybe you've breezed thru the White Mountains. Reluctant and suspicious as C****** was to accompany me to the Abduction Anniversary, this summer resort stretch was her fave summer childhood memory, it's stunningly gorgeous, and as Leaf-Peeper Season was just starting, there were still a couple of great seafood restaurants open, and they had a great local nasty dark ale on draught, Pig's Ear.

Some nice local finally explained that the reason nobody noticed the UFO Abduction Anniversary was that Lincoln had scheduled the annual Highland Games, so the area was packed with thousands of Men In Kilts & tam-o-shanters & their lassies tossing telephone poles and drinking huge quantities of strong drink.
Either the strong drink made it harder to see Aliens, or MAYBE the Aliens disguise themselves as Scots Highlanders every anniversary when they drop in for the clam strips and chili dogs.

This is all your fault for sending me the new historical marker. It just whipped me into a froth to finally drive up there. Easy beautiful drive, perfect weather, we had a great time and a cheap motel cabin that very much resembled the Bates Motel.

Okay, no Aliens, no probing that we can remember. All our time is pretty closely accounted for, no missing hours. 

BUT utterly by surprise the whole screwball thing unblocked a big long constipation in my writing and exploded color and ideas and superfresh enthusiasm into the project. (Usually i get my Laxative Of Inspiration in dreams. This time I got it from UFO Aliens.)

Hope all of you are in Good Shape & Happy Circumstances. What's Rap Boy & Water Polo Grrl up to? 

Over in Evil Columbus at the Ohio State stadium a few weeks ago, Team USA (which just learned to play soccer 3 yrs ago) defeated Team Mexico and advanced a rung toward the World Cup!

Yrs, 
Joe Schlobladewsky

The Truth Is Out There

I Want to Believe

There's a Seeker born every minute

*****
The Portland Phoenix
Portland, Maine USA
alternative weekly throwaway
6 September 2013
Alien abductees 
gather in Portland

by Deirdre Fulton

Millions of people on this planet claim to have been abducted by aliens. About 200 of them (alleged abductees, that is) will converge on Portland this weekend, for the second annual Experiencers Speak conference, organized by and for people who say they’ve been kidnapped by -- or had close encounters with -- extraterrestrials.

Among those who plan to attend the two-day symposium are Travis Walton, the logger whose UFO experience was portrayed in the 1993 film Fire in the Sky; Jim Weiner, one of four young men who saw a UFO and "lost time" (presumably due to abduction) during a 1976 camping trip in Allagash, Maine; and Kathleen Marden, director of abduction research for the Mutual UFO Network, a national organization dedicated to researching UFO sightings. Marden is also the niece of Betty and Barney Hill, the New Hampshire couple who claimed to have been seized by aliens in September 1961 near Franconia Notch. Many more will come to share their own stories, and be validated by others; last year’s Experiencers Speak event in Gorham attracted about 150 attendees.

"People really need to talk about it and realize that they’re not alone," says Audrey Hewins of Mechanic Falls, the lead organizer of the conference and founder of Starborn Support, a group that exists to help those who say they’ve met ETs. "We like to get them to a point where they accept who they are and are able to function in society."

Hewins, 40, describes herself as a "lifelong abductee," who, along with her identical twin sister, has "been taken [repeatedly] since early childhood." After years of trying to repress the memories (she calls it "stuffing") she and her sister reached out to the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON), and a representative from that organization put both sisters under hypnosis (separately), helping them to access often-traumatizing memories of visits from "beings" with big, motionless, almond-shaped eyes and bald heads. Over time, through hypnosis, Hewins began to recall experiences of being paralyzed, lifted, and brought onto a spacecraft -- all at extraterrestrial hands.

Although Hewins likens "Post-Abduction Syndrome" (PAS) to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), her interactions with the otherworldly beings weren’t always hostile; in fact, it was one of them that suggested she launch Starborn Support in 2006. Today, there are chapters in 10 states along the east coast, along with a Starborn streaming radio program.
 
"This isn’t something you can tell your family members without having them question you," says Kathleen Marden, of MUFON, who co-coordinates a peer-facilitated support group for experiencers in Florida. "Some people receive very negative feedback" from loved ones such as ridicule or ostracization (not to mention lay diagnosis of "totally insane").

In fact, Marden herself was a skeptic when she started to research her Aunt Betty and Uncle Barney’s story more than two decades ago. "If I could have found information that this was all just an honest mistake or misinterpretation, I would have been very pleased. This was very upsetting to the family," she recalls. But her relatives’ account of a bright, star-like object that seemed to be following them, loud rhythmic buzzing, several unaccounted-for hours, and Betty’s subsequent vivid dreams were enough to convince Marden, who has a degree in social work from the University of New Hampshire. In her investigations, Marden employs "forensic hypnosis," a technique she says used to be admissible in court. "In the end, I was not able to prove that it was simply a mistake. There was overwhelming evidence that in fact led me to believe that this was a real event."

Faith in fantasy
Even the most dismissive skeptics are quick to acknowledge that so-called abductees have had some kind of memorable experience. But, as Michael Shermer, executive director of the California-based Skeptics Society wrote in his Scientific American "Skeptic" column in 2005, "the vividness of a traumatic memory cannot be taken as evidence of its authenticity."

By and large, most abduction-doubters ascribe the alleged abduction experience to a medical phenomenon known as "sleep paralysis." A typical sleep paralysis episode, often the result of disrupted REM sleep, is marked by a sudden wakefulness combined with the inability to move. The experience often induces panic, paranoia, the sense that someone else is in the room, and hallucinations.

Whereas centuries ago, such episodes were correlated with supernatural entities like nightmares, succubi, or demons -- the paranormal monsters of our past — our current frame of reference has shifted.

"We don’t live in that world anymore,” Shermer explains on the phone from Southern California. In the modern context of science fiction, fantasy, and space exploration, he says, "Aliens are our demons."

Susan Clancy, a post-doctoral fellow at Harvard University and the author of Abducted: How People Come To Believe They Were Kidnapped by Aliens, came to the conclusion that abduction memories are "a function of memory distortion. It is well established by cognitive psychologists that memory is fragile [and that] false memories -- even traumatic ones -- can be created."

With another Harvard psychologist, Richard McNally, Clancy studied how a someone could mis-remember an episode of sleep paralysis as alien abduction. They found that in seeking an explanation for a distressing event (the hallucinations, the paralysis), a person undergoing hypnotic regression sessions will dig into their memory banks (full of experiences both real and not) and ultimately "recall" having been abducted or experimented on by aliens. Those recollections, though, seem to be influenced by fantasy as well as reality. "The striking similarity of these narratives," the authors wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, "suggests a widely shared cultural script."

As Clancy stated in a 2005 interview on National Public Radio, "I just want to stress that nobody reported being abducted before they actually saw it on TV or in the movies." She is also highly skeptical of memory-retrieval techniques like hypnosis, which is generally relied on in abduction cases.

In other words, a subtle (and quite possibly subliminal) absorption of alien-abduction themes in TV shows, movies, sci-fi books, and on the Internet could help explain how someone could jump from I had an upsetting experience in bed as a child to I was kidnapped and probed by otherworldly beings as a kid.

But it’s not necessarily a sign of mental illness. “Many people believe that abductees are ‘nuts’ — this is a mistake,” Clancy says in an email to the Phoenix. “Our data showed they are essentially normal [and] psychologically healthy. Alien abductees were not more likely than control subjects to suffer from psychological disorders. My feeling after a decade of research ... is that abductees, like many others, were looking for explanations for their lives and for the things that happened to them that they could not understand. They were familiar with the alien abduction script, believed that abductions were possible, and thus concluded that abductions were a possible explanation."

In fact, as Shermer points out in his books, Why Smart People Believe Weird Things, there are quite intelligent (seemingly sane) people who believe this stuff. “But neither the smarts nor the money alter one iota the fact that there exists not one piece of tangible evidence of alien visitation,” he writes. “And where evidence is lacking, the mind fills in the gaps, and smart minds are better at gap filling.”

It’s not surprising that experiencers like Hewins think the sleep-paralysis explanation is "ridiculous, up there with swamp gas and weather balloons" (two other oft-cited explanations for UFO sightings). Like many UFOlogists and alleged abductees, she believes a conspiracy is afoot to cloud the truth. "So many people are so quick to dismiss this as fiction, but the government and other people in power have covered it up and made it so convincingly not real."

Perhaps here is a good place to note the official position of the Center for SETI Research, the private, non-profit organization dedicated to studying life in the universe (and searching for other life forms). SETI receives funding from both the government and private sources and is widely considered to be a legitimate, science-based program.

“One-third of the American public (and a similar fraction of the citizenry in other countries) is convinced that extraterrestrials may be buzzing the countryside in their spacecraft, or occasionally alighting in the back yard to abduct a few humans for breeding experiments,” the SETI website reads. “This would be of enormous interest and importance, and (in our opinion) impossible to hide, particularly if it’s happening internationally. The presence of aliens on our planet is not something you would want to hide: it would be the biggest science story of all time, and tens of thousands of university researchers would be working away on it...

"However, despite the popularity of aliens in both movies and TV, and more than a half-century of UFO sightings, the lack of credible physical evidence has made it difficult for serious scientists to believe that UFOs have anything to do with extraterrestrial visitors."

But that won’t sway the true believers. Indeed, it’s not overstating things to frame this weekend’s conference in religious terms; one who believes fervently in aliens is not much different from one who believes fervently in God. For experiencers, alien abduction is their unassailable truth, their space-age theology.
"I know that this is real," Hewins says passionately. "I’m positive. I know what I’m doing is right. And the people who are so quick to judge ... eventually they’re going to realize that it’s true."
 
Take the quiz

Check off each item if it has happened to you.

According to the Starborn Support website, you may have been abducted by aliens if you ...

[ ] Have had unexplainable missing or lost  time of one hour or more. Not while blacked out drunk, presumably.

[ ] Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.

[ ] Have unusual scars or marks with no possible   explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears).

[ ] Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations. First be sure it’s not your neighbor playing with fireworks.

[ ] Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying. Aren’t flying dreams supposed to be good?

[ ] Have a strong "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby, etc.) A table!!!!!?????

[ ] Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window. Neighborhood kids playing Capture The Flag?

[ ] Have had many dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.

[ ] Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life. A run-of-the-mill, non-shocking UFO sighting doesn’t suffice.

[ ] Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious. I knew there was something weird about vegetarians ...

[ ] Have a secret feeling that you are "special" or "chosen," somehow. A/k/a, narcissism.

[ ] Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.

[ ] Have had several strange psychic experiences -- such as knowing that something is going to happen before it happens.

[ ] For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. Women are from Venus, men are from Mars, amirite!?!?

[ ] Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don’t remember ever going to sleep. (i.e., waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car) Doesn’t count if you were at Amigo’s last night.

[ ] Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.

[ ] Have awoken in the middle of the night startled. I usually blame the cats, but I will from now on consider other alternatives...

[ ] Have strong reaction (aversion or attraction) to the cover of Communion or pictures of aliens. Test yourself with the image at left

[ ] Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life. OH NO!!! I’M DOOMED.

[ ] Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with. Congratulations, Casanova!

[ ] Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster. Terabithia fans, you’re in luck.

[ ] Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing. How can someone witness you being missing?

[ ] Have had, at any time, blood or strange stain  on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there. Doesn’t count if you were at Amigo’s last night.

[ ] Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot. I am compelled to read a lot about Kim Kardashian; am I going to be North West’s adopted sibling???

[ ] Have an extreme aversion toward talking about UFOs or aliens.

[ ] Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area. Fans of Douglas Adams’s holistic method of navigation need not apply.

[ ] Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night. Good news! You’re not paranoid! Aliens are out to get you!

[ ] Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there. Doesn’t count if you were at Amigo’s last night.

[ ] Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source.   Doesn’t count if you are at Amigo’s right now.

[ ] Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.

[ ] Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained. Doesn’t count if you were at Amigo’s last night.

[ ] Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.

[ ] Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.

[ ] Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them,   TVs and radios affected as you move close, etc.). That’s some Poltergeist shit, yo.

[ ] Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed. Maybe George Zimmerman didn’t fear black men -- just aliens.

[ ] Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.

[ ] Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.

[ ] Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.

[ ] Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.

[ ] Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials. Well, that seems like a slam-dunk indicator.

[ ] Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you.

[ ] Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.

[ ] Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as an odd “feeling” that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with “something”). “I’ve been abducted by aliens” goes over a lot better than “I have commitment issues.”

[ ] Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall. Coming soon from Random House: Feng Shui for Abductees.

[ ] Have a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures. Hey revolutionaries,  perhaps the enemy isn’t corporate fat cats, but aliens . . . Occupy Mars!

[ ] Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.

[ ] Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.

[ ] Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.

[ ] Have many of these traits but can’t remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.
- 30 -

Copyright © 2013 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group 
 

France up to its traditional persecution of ethnic & religious minorities again / Bob delays Paris holiday to 2062

Ambassador François Delattre
Embassy of France to the United States
Washington DC USA

27 September 2013

Ambassador Delattre:

Interior Minister Manuel Valls' call to forcibly deport Rom / Romani from France resurrects France's long and disgusting history of persecution of ethnic and religious minorities.

I am a Jew, France's favorite target of persecution and genocide.

But whenever France slides into persecution of her Jews, France always finds space in her railway freight cars for Rom / Romani.

While France continues to sanction Valls' political "red meat" scapegoat campaign against Rom, I will regard France as a dangerous and toxic human rights zone, and urge all Americans of decency and good will to avoid France like the plague.

My feelings about Valls' call for forced deportation of Rom echo the Commission of the European Union:

"Free movement, like the freedom of residence, in another country are fundamental rights."

-- Olivier Bailly, EU Commission spokesman

Valls is filth, and the government of France perfumes itself with his filth while it tolerates his call for the forcible expulsion of Rom lawfully living in France.

Sincerely,

Robert Merkin
Chesterfield, Massachusetts USA

================

Agence France Presse / AFP
Thursday 26 September 2013

Brussels rap for France
as Roma row erupts
 
Paris (AFP) -- The European Commission on Wednesday issued a rare public rebuke to France after Interior Minister Manuel Valls defended a call for tens of thousands of ethnic Roma to be kicked out.

"Free movement, like the freedom of residence, in another country are fundamental rights," said Olivier Bailly, a spokesman for the EU's executive arm, the Commission.

The Commission, however, stopped short of threatening Paris with sanctions, acknowledging that the government was within its rights to expel migrants who had not found work or other means of support after three months.

As well as infuriating Brussels, Valls triggered an outcry from rights groups and some of his colleagues by saying any Roma not working should be "delivered back to the borders", describing their way of life as "extremely different from ours," and claiming they will never integrate into French society.

The latter remark triggered the ire of his cabinet colleague, Arnaud Montebourg, who pointedly alluded to Valls' own status as the Barcelona-born son of Spanish immigrants.

"A theory that such and such a person or such and such a people will never, ever be able to integrate just doesn't stand up," Montebourg said.

"That's what they said about the Italians, that's what they said about the Spanish, it's what they said about the Portuguese, and what they said about the Arabs.

"Decreeing in advance that it is impossible seems to me excessive and is worthy of being corrected."

Valls hit back: "I've got nothing to correct. My remarks only shock those who don't know the subject."

'It's not France's job'
He then repeated remarks that Amnesty International described as likely to "perpetuate stereotypes and encourage animosity" towards the 20,000 plus Roma currently living in France in makeshift camps.

"The majority (of Roma) should be delivered back to the borders," Valls said. "We are not here to welcome these people. I'd remind you of (former Socialist premier) Michel Rocard's statement: It's not France's job to deal with the misery of the whole world."

Controversy over the issue is not new for Valls, a sharp-suited 51-year-old regarded as one of the stars of President Francois Hollande's struggling administration.

The Commission has repeatedly questioned the legality of the government encouraging local councils to systematically dismantle illegal Roma camps and put the expelled residents on flights back to Bulgaria and Romania.

The policy has also been criticised by the UN's human rights arm. Roma organisations in France are threatening to bring a legal case against Valls for incitement to racial hatred and SOS Racisme, whose founder is now the Socialists' party leader, said Wednesday his latest comments had "crossed a red line."

It is all water off a duck's back to a ferociously ambitious, hugely energetic politician who appears to thrive on taking a stand against his own party's stance.

Polls repeatedly suggest Valls is among the most admired members of Hollande's government with a cross-party appeal that has made him one of the early favourites to be the Left's candidate in the 2017 presidential elections.

Sceptics have also been quick to point out that Valls' hardline on the Roms could play well with voters in municipal elections next year.

"There are elections in the air in France," observed Viviane Reding, the European Commissioner who has repeatedly taken France to task over the treatment of the Roma.

"Every time they don't want to talk about important things like the budget and debt, the Roma issue gets brought up."

Under pressure from the EU and at home, Valls agreed last year that Roma camps should not be cleared without alternative housing plans being put in place first.

But that policy has rarely been applied, rights groups say, and Reding said France had made no attempt to access EU funds available to promote Roma integration.

Valls maintains that forced evictions are preferable to tolerating squalid, insanitary camps and has defended repatriations as a better alternative than allowing Roma in France to continue working for organised criminal gangs.

But his approach has been criticised as inhuman by charities and a waste of money by France's public spending watchdog.

Despite thousands of government-financed repatriations, the numbers of Roma in France have remained stable, reflecting the reality that anyone flown back to Romania or Bulgaria can immediately return to France under EU freedom of movement laws.

- 30 -

make your t-shirt now! meet the Friends of Betty & Barney at the UFO Abduction historical marker!

Click postcards to enlarge.

Okay there is about a 93 percent chance that this Thursday I drive to the above GPS coordinates for the annual anniversary celebration of the most famous UFO Alien Abduction Ever on Planet Earth involving human tourists.

Here are the designs for the t-shirts me and S.W.M.B.O. will wear when we meet the other fans of Betty and Barney's 1961 UFO Alien Abduction in the Rte. 3 parking lot.

ABOVE: Saucer from Ray Harryhausen's "Earth vs. the Flying Saucers" (1956). SPOILER ALERT: Earth Humans defeat Saucer Invaders from Space.

BELOW: Saucer from Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1953), originals made from aluminum pie plates suspended on strings. Many cineastes believe Plan 9 From Outer Space is the worst movie ever since movies were invented. "Plan 9" is worse than "Ishtar" or Mel Gibson's "Mutiny on the Bounty" or Mel Gibson's "Hamlet" or Kevin Costner's "Dances with Wolves."

For Terrans who live far from New Hampshire USA, the rock guy on the old postcard is / was The Old Man of the Mountain. He was composed entirely of granite, he had been there forever, and came with a Guarantee From The Creator that he would be there forever.

Sometime in the middle of the night of 3 May 2003, he stopped being there forever and fell down to the parking lot below. And he has made no effort to pull himself together and climb back up the mountain.

(He did get the Last Laugh, though. In 2000 the USA Mint stamped his icon on millions of 25-cent New Hampshire commemorative coins. So The Old Man will stay recognized and famous for millennia, like Nero and Tiberius on Roman coins.)

He is / was on Rte. 3 in the White Mountains maybe 4 or 5 miles from where the Alien Flying Saucer first started buzzing Betty & Barney's Studebaker or Chevy on their southbound way home from a vacation in Quebec.

In the middle of the night this is one Very Lonely Spooky Isolated Wilderness Forest Highway.

In New Hampshire, no one can hear you scream. And cel phones hadn't been invented yet.

In 2011 New Hampshire erected This Historical Marker at the site where the saucer first buzzed the Hills' car. I guess that's where we'll meet the other friends of Betty + Barney, pose for photos, sell t-shirts and buy snowglobes, maybe a tailgate party, roast hot dogs and toast marshmallows, drink seasonal delicious Apple Cider. 

The Anniversary occurs smack at Maximum Deciduous Forest Leaf Color Explosion, a unique and spectactular natural phenomenon of Planet Earth. One theory is the UFO Aliens zip to New Hampshire for the local scenery, like all the other tourists.

Personally I think the very large number of Saucer Sightings & Close Encounters in New Hampshire is because word has spread throughout Melkweg and the Local Group of our remarkably delicious and unique North Atlantic seafood. I especially recommend the Lobster Roll and the Belly Clams. The French Fries and Onion Rings are great, too, and all these places sell great chili cheese dogs. Many Soft-Serv ice cream joints haven't closed for winter yet.

Anyway, use the above designs, make your own t-shirt, then meet at the above GPS coordinates around sunset on 19 September (this year Thursday). Bring snacks, trail mix, Thermos of hot coffee or cocoa.

Here's an e-text of The Bible Of B+B's Alien Abduction, "The Interrupted Journey" by John G. Fuller. Most of the credibility of the Hills' experience is due to Fuller, an enormously respected national magazine columnist and journalist. His previous book, "Incident at Exeter," is about multiple sightings (many by local cops who probably were sober) of UFOs whizzing around the town of Exeter, New Hampshire USA.

So like -- what happened to Betty and Barney that night on Rte. 3?

And what will happen to me on Rte. 3 in the middle of the night this coming Thursday?

And will they still be selling belly clams and onion rings? Vleeptron will file a preliminary report as soon as we get back from New Hampshire. Or from Zeta Reticuli, where the Aliens may take us if they show up for the anniversary. I'll bring the camera.

CRUMMY OLD WINE DEPT: Bob shares his thoughts with Scientific American

click nachos to enlarge

Date: Fri,  4 Feb 94 16:13:50 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Death of Proof

From: vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU!bostic 

(Keith Bostic)
From: letters to the editors
From: January 1994 issue of 

Scientific American

Hey, man, thanks a lot for "The Death of 

Proof."  What my buddies down the hall 

liked best was what you said about how us
students don't relate to proofs. We don't.

They're real hard, and I don't think we 

should have to do them, not when you can

get the same stuff from those neat color

videos. The Grateful Dead likes them too!

If you guys keep writing neat stories like

this about how math is getting easier and 

so much cooler, maybe us guys will take some

more math courses and maybe even become real

mathematicians, 'cause it looks like a real 

neat job now and not boring like I always

thought because of all those numbers and

equations and stuff.

Beavis and Butt-head say hi.

Bob Merkin
Northampton, Mass.

Tierra de los Sueños / PizzaQ! / wtf? / UNESCO World Heritage Pretzel Sex Cartoons / No. 1 & 4 Combo / la vie des mariners Mediterannee / hens' teeth / il Postino / fragrance-free & gluten-free

Click doohickey to enlarge.

Something quite wonderful has just happened to moi -- and typically what just happened to moi involves medical waiting rooms and phlebotomists, so Wonderful is both Wonderful AND Rare. 

Scarce as hen's teeth, some would say. (A glass case in a small museum in Corpus Christi, Texas was labelled HEN'S TEETH, but I can't remember what, if anything, was inside.)

The Wonderful Something centers on a bit of Private Correspondence -- actual exchange of Snailmail, with envelopes affixed with vrai postage stamps. Quel 1983! A data exchange you can TOUCH and WEIGH and de temps en temps WHIFF! 


btw the USPS stamp to send a No. 10 envelope with 1 sheet inside to Yerp is singularly ugly and hard to peel and affix. I have subsequently overpaid to send my Yerp recipient Pretty Butterflies.

"Il Postino" is the Italian mailman who serves the exiled Chilean poet Neruda, and the first thing il Postino notices is the unusually large number of pleasantly, even stimulatingly scented letters from all over the planet. That gets the mailman's attention, because as it turns out he has been seeking ways to ratchet up his Woman-Related Life, and obviously this Señor Neruda has some effective gimmicks with Women. (If you want to know about his gimmicks, read some Neruda poems. Leave A Comment. No fragrance please.)

(Moiself, i do not receive a lot of floral scented snailmail. Don't send me any, not even as a gag. I have a Wife. And 5 cats.)

But anyway, I consider myself obligated, unless instructed contrariwise, to keep the stuff in the flying physical snailmails private & confidential.

ADMIRAL: And I'm never never never ever sick at sea
CHORUS: Never?
ADMIRAL: Well ... HARDLY ever ...

-- Gilbert & Sullivan
 
Okay, well, Vleeptron & its Partners throughout Galaxy Dwingeloo-2 have held a Skype teleconference to consider what, if anything, Vleeptron MAY extract or subduct from this private correspondence.

The limited, protected, guarded Answer is fig. 1 above.

Vleeptron has designated this curious whatchamacallit a PizzaQ.

(Yeah, yeah, we know we still owe Much Explanatory Text on a previous PizzaQ, we been busy. Patience is a Virtue. PatfromCH won 92 percent of the Pizza.)

So, like, what is Fig. 1?

Can you make cucumber sweet pickles with it?

Can it walk the dog? Milk the chickens? (I am still in the Up Learning Curve regarding the farm sciences.)

I mean, just tell me ANYTHING you know about This Odd Thing.

That's all the Vleeptron Skype teleconference feels free to divulge regarding this snailmail exchange at this time. You got to fill in the rest, or more, or something.

This one's worth -- hey, I like this one, and now it's a Personal Thing -- 2 Large Pizzas. Certified 100 Percent Gluten-Free.

My first Latin textbook showed a detail of a beautiful mosaic eternally preserved under Pompeii. Some previous scholar had penned WHO ORDERED THE EXTRA CHEESE in the margin.

Pompeii's most notorious, filthy, lewd Dirty Pictures are the entrance mosaics in a big dockside whorehouse. The sailors coming ashore very often could not read or grok early classical Latin, so a Menu of Naked Pretzel Things -- well, you would point to the Pretzel you wanted, and it also told you how many drachmas that would cost a Mediterranean mariner.

I'd call the cops and the sandblasters to get rid of this vile smut, but the vile smut has been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and armed guards and dogs and CCTV protects the sailor pretzel cartoons from outraged Calvinists.

I don't know what year they changed the rule but my UK woman friend says that when her family visited in the late 1950s, Dad and Brother Will were permitted to step inside, but Mum and my little friend were strictly not allowed inside. But now all genders may pay the 2 euro and step in and gawk and wallow, and imagine themselves in No. 4. Or a combo 1 and 4, me want that. 

This is the only UNESCO WORLD HERITAGE PORN FILTH I know anywhere on Earth, but if you know where there's more, please Leave A Comment. Apparently every country road you stroll down in India you pass huge stone statues of huge rock-hard erect penises. each roughly the size of General Sherman. I don't know if UNESCO or the appropriate ministry has certified them.

So anyway, Vleeptron has asked the PizzaQ, or as much of it as we feel comfy asking.

You answer.

You're smart. You can get this.

Conversely, if you cannot get this, you are Not Smart (cf. Boole, DeMorgan, et al).

this place looks nice & the VACANCY sign is on

Click image to enlarge

CBC News / Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
Saturday 17 August 2013

40 pythons found 
in Ontario motel
 
SPCA says snakes appeared to be
'in distress' in crowded plastic bins
 
Forty pythons that were discovered in a Brantford, Ontario [Canada] motel have been seized by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Police found the snakes in five plastic storage bins at the Bell City Motel on Colborne Street in Brantford, which is located about 100 kilometres southwest of Toronto.

"Early [Thursday] evening, the Brantford police called us to come out and assist with a large number of snakes they had found," said Brandon James, spokesman for the Brant County SPCA. "When we arrived, we found very overcrowded conditions with approximately 40 snakes."

James said he had "never seen a load of snakes this large in Brant County and I've been doing this for 10 years."

The biggest python was estimated to be 1.3 metres long. There were snakes of various sizes including some that were less than a foot long. 

There was also about half a dozen unhatched eggs in the bins.

The pythons were discovered Thursday night by police as part of a separate investigation.

The snakes were in distress because of the cramped conditions and lack of water, James said.

"I don't know how long they were in those tote containers for, but it's very stressful for the snakes."

James said it appeared the snakes had recently been fed.

Baby in the room
 
The snakes belonged to a local couple who stayed at the room for only one night, a manager at the motel told The Canadian Press. The couple were out Thursday evening when police arrived, said the manager, who asked that his name not be used.

Paul Sizer, a guest in a neighbouring room at the motel, told CBC News that the couple had five young children with them, including a baby.

"The first night I was afraid of [the snakes] getting out and coming after me," he said.

The pythons were in the care of the Brant County SPCA Friday and transported to a reptile facility somewhere in Ontario in the early evening. James would would not say where they were going.

It is illegal to own a python in Brantford.

The discovery comes after two boys were killed by an African rock python in New Brunswick earlier this month.
 
Also Thursday night, animal control officers in Hamilton recovered a four-foot-long ball python in bushes in the city's east end. It was the second ball python found abandoned in the city in a week. 

- 30 -

Tierra de los Sueños / Historical Commemorative: ye Rhabdology

click stamp to enlarge

Tierra de los Sueños
Historical Commemorative
ye Rhabdology

issued: 11 August 1617 (O.S.)

Midsummer Xmas t-shirt design / antipode / pode / Bizarro Earth shape / kiss salt cod / oblate spheroid / dog barks, cats wake & flee

click image to enlarge

okay well S****, her birthday is 6 months before (or after) Christmas, so she always celebrates her birthday with a Christmas in July theme. 

I made her this t-shirt for her birthday. She seems to have liked it. Anyway, as of so far, hers is the only such t-shirt in the universe.

I call it Midsummer Xmas so ppl in the Southern Hemisphere can wear it too. ppl in the Southern Hemisphere celebrate Xmas in their swimwear and slather up with SPF 70 sunscreen goop.

I guess you are standing or sitting or lying on a pode. So the spot exactly opposite your pode on the surface of Earth is its antipode. Everybody near there is antipodean.

The straight line between antipode and pode runs through the center of the planet -- if the planet is a sphere. (Actually, because it spins pretty fast on its polar axis, it's not a sphere, it's an oblate spheroid.)

The shape of Bizarro Earth is not a sphere or oblate spheroid, Bizarro Earth is a cube.


What's the most North you've ever been?

What's the most South you've ever been? 

We were guests at our first Skype Wedding. We watched the bride and groom marry on our laptop. Our laptop was in Massachusetts USA. The bride and groom were in Patagonia Chile. We sent them a toaster oven. Or a cheeseboard, I forget which. 

The bride's dog barked in Patagonia, and our cats in Massachusetts woke up and fled.

Have you ever been urged or forced or required to kiss a salt cod? (I have.)

Oh, it's possible you don't know how to make the above collage into a t-shirt.

1. Print the image in color on an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper.

2. Take the sheet to a print shop that makes t-shirts. Tell the print shop sentient you want the image printed as big as possible on the front of the t-shirt.

3. Pick up your new t-shirt the next day.