Click image for larger.Yesterday morning at 10:30 we drove to Smith Vocational and Agricultural High School, where our polling place is. Inside it was busier than I've ever seen it, but there were no lines, we walked right up to our ward, got our ballots, went to our flimsy but adequately private booths, voted, and returned the completed ballots to the big noisy machine that sucks them into itself -- in and out within 15 minutes. What delay there was was because of a fairly complicated ballot with several voter questions on it.
The binding questions:
* Soon greyhound racing will be outlawed in Massachusetts. Good riddance, and I wish fine homes and better lives for these quite magnificent animals.
* Very soon, adult possession of small amounts of marijuana will no longer be a crime in Massachusetts, as it is now, with possible jail time and a lifelong permanent criminal record. Soon, a la Ann Arbor, Michigan and Berkeley, California, the police officer will write the miscreant a ticket, like a traffic ticket, you will pay a fine, and nothing will go on your permanent record. (Also The Daily Hampshire Gazette will stop publishing your name in the Trivial Crimes box.) Kids will no longer be denied college financial aid through federal education loans because they got caught smoking a joint. Professional licenses (law, medicine, etc.) will no longer be in jeopardy because of an old pot bust. YES passed statewide by the prophesied 70 percent. That's how much Massachusetts voters love criminal pot laws. I will let you know in six months if the world comes to an end.
* I voted to keep the state income tax, and so did most Massachusetts voters. If you're wondering why I voted to keep paying taxes, Leave A Comment.
We vote on a large paper ballot. To vote for a candidate or a question, you take a black felt pen and draw a line to connect a double-ended arrow:
FOR PRESIDENT:
GUS HALL
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According to the news, a lot of people in Florida had a lot of trouble with this system, and drew all kinds of screwy doodles in the wrong places. I don't care. It beats the shit out of electronic voting machines. I like a ballot you can touch, and store away for months or years, and then count again and examine at your leisure if any question should arise.
A ballot of magnetic zeroes and ones is just asking for trouble and tempting the weak impulse control of politicians and their groupies.
Elizabeth Dole was defeated for her re-election to the United States Senate in North Carolina. I couldn't be happier. She is a skanky filthy vile snake who, in her desperation, pissed on the Finest Thing the USA ever had going for it -- religious tolerance. If you hire her to serve on your board of directors, I will stop buying whatever the fuck you're selling.
Michigan voters passed a law permitting stem cell research. I will take a wild guess that it will pop up first at or adjacent to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor (GO BLUE!), which I finally had the pleasure of visiting a year ago. The Science of Tomorrow has always had a great home there, and it is lovely to know that important tradition will continue.
I guess Kerry got re-elected. I didn't vote against him. But neither did I vote for him. I didn't connect a double-ended arrow for him or the other guy. Kerry's just totally useless and always has been. Don't feel sorry for him, he married the heiress to Heinz Ketchup. If you can't stand him as much as I can't stand him, stop using Heinz Ketchup. There are other brands of ketchup or catsup.
S.W.M.B.O. seems as thoroughly thrilled with the election results as I am. A horrible time for Planet Earth and the United States of America will soon be over (20 January 2009 at noon, if you want to order party platters).
Barack Obama is, first and foremost, a professional politician, so I won't begin to suggest that within a year, all of our worst problems will be fixed.
But all he has to do to win my abiding affection and gratitude is a better job than the previous dumb asshole psycho illiterate fundie did for the last 8 years. That's not asking or expecting too much. Walk in the Park. The bar for Presidential Success is not exactly set very high right now.
People all over Planet Earth seem to be very happy with the result of the USA presidential election. And obviously people all over the United States of America are very happy with the news that greeted them before East Coast dawn.
I could use some fucking Happiness.
My Countdown Keychain says Bush has
75 Days 10 Hours 50 Minutes
left in office. Then he has to move out of the White House and stop making Planet Earth sick.
