e-mail from, and back atcha, my old Army buddy who lives in the Greater Lower Thumb Region of the USA state shaped like a right-hand mitten so you can point to the palm of your hand to show where you live
Every former soldier ends up with an old pal named Joe Schlobladewski who phones long-distance once a year (often inspired by alcohol) to confuse & dismay the veteran's wife and children. I have designated myself R**'s Joe Schlobladewski.
R** has a wife and three interesting, accomplished children. One (male) is a rapper and Graphic Novel (modern name for Comic Book, and they don't cost 10 cents anymore either) artist; another (female) was a regional college water polo champ.
Go Blue! (My late father-in-law wore a sweatshirt that said
THE MICHIGAN OF THE EAST
) and okay, one time i was doing my laundry in a laundromat and there was a guy with a sweatshirt that said [see illustration above]. For 20 minutes I focused all my dimly-remembered Hebrew skills on his chest and finally meekly asked the fellow: "Meshugineh?" (Hebrew for Insane.)
He smiled broadly.
"Good guess, but no! MICHIGAN!"
----- Original Message -----
From: R** B****
To: Bob Merkin
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2012 11:09 AMSubject: ICP?Bob,
Got your [SNAILMAIL] letter with the real US postage Stewie’s Big Adventure Commemorative Stamp on it yesterday. Cool.
I personally do not know much about the Insane Clown Posse. I had heard about them for some time but that was it.
The Free Press story on Vleeptron was the most info I have had.
I will see if T** can tell you anything more. I don’t think he sees them as serious rappers . . . Whatever that means.
Pizza Q: It’s a special sand blend or something.
[from my snailmail with the USPS Stewie stamp]:
P.S. We watched USA women's water polo. Okay, so I'm late, so I'm slow, so I was ignorant -- but I'm a fan! This is quite the amazing sport!PizzaQ: Why aren't Olympic women's beach volleyball players covered with sand all over?
We watched so much of the Olympics for those 2 weeks. Missed out on all the political talk shows. Ha.
So how was Romney as governor of your fair state?**********
He seems like a weasel to me.
As I desperately searched through a long lifetime of memories for someone, anyone, who might know stuff about the Caucasian-American rap scene in the Greater Lower Thumb region, suddenly there was an intense flare of sparking neurons.
But if T** says "They suck," sobeit.
But if he has any info or critical commentary re ICP and the Juggalos, please tell him Joe Schlobladewki a.k.a. Vleeptron Dude would be appreciative. (Tell him if he e-mails me anything, I'll be happy to redact all clues to his identity when I post it on Vleeptron.)
Okay, so I don't get to as many Rainbow Family of Living Light Gatherings and Vans Warped Tours as I used to (some Smith College Radio Babes took pity on old Bob and dragged me to a Rave, that was Very Odd), but I started reading about this ICP/Juggalo crap and I was horrified to realize that for 13 fucking years, thousands of Youths & Not-So-Youths have been roaming the Midwest, earning an authentic FBI gang designation, and pathetic old Out-Of-The-Loop Bob had never heard Word 1 about this crap.
So either I demand to know more and I demand to buy the t-shirt from the ICP web store, or I better start gathering pamphlets for Assisted Living facilities. I am losing my grip on The Present and The Future, and I used to pride myself on seeing hordes coming soon enough to step back on the curb and avoid being violated and pillaged.
But I am reassured to learn that my trusty FBI is as sharp as it was in our day, protecting the Homeland from high-school nerds [& nerdeusses] and assistant Garden Supplies managers at Home Depot.
Look -- okay, he has utterly no reason to listen to Clueless Old Joe, but T** needs to know that in my (news) racket, anybody who can get 3000 screwballs to follow them to mud-slogged mosquito-infested state parks for 13 years in a row, and get the national law-enforcement net buzzing with FBI gang BOLOs -- such achievements deserve our respect and props.
Terribly glad you liked the Stewie stamp! Turning them into real snailmail USPS stamps was the sweetest thing a family member has EVER done for me. I was sort of embarrassed when I took the letter to the Post Office and had to ask somebody what 1st-Class now costs -- i.e., how many Stewies would I have to put on the No. 10 [envelope] before I dropped it in the slot and sent it to Ann Arbor.
The nifty USPS feature, I guess it's about 4 or 5 years old now, well it had some awkward beginnings, people were making Hitler commemoratives and hommages to Fart Gas, and the USPS roll-your-own-stamp censors were letting some of the cuter designs slip past their vigilant inspecting.
* * *
Yeah, I was already here when Romney did a stint as our Governor, and he sucked. Here's a recent Vleeptron snapshot of his (almost) achievement in office:
How he got elected, well, I can only guess that the Dems that year put up an unusually sucky or detested candidate. This may be an All-Blue state, but the Dems have run some real doozies & losers, so from time to time we elect Republicans. (Vermont -- well, they're the only voters who send a Socialist to represent their desires in the U.S. Senate.)
When Teddy Kennedy died and we had to elect a new U.S. Senator, I get this phone call and a mild-mannered Youth asks me if I am all thrilled and enthused that our Attorney General, Martha Coakley, is running for the seat. I almost soiled myself -- boy, did I know Martha. As a District Attorney and then Attorney General, she has encarcerated more Non-White & teenage pot-smokers and street junkies than any racist scumbag public official in U.S. history.
"Are you kidding? Martha Coakley is the Democratic candidate? Look, buddy -- she's EVIL. I ain't voting for Martha Coakley."
The Clueless Youth got all surprised and flustered, but he recovered enough to ask me, if not Martha, who I might vote for.
"Is Lyndon Larouche running somebody? I'll vote for a Larouchie before I vote for Coakley."
(No, I didn't vote for Scott Brown, but that's how Scott Brown got his Senate seat -- I wasn't the only MA[ssachusetts] voter less than thrilled with Evil Martha.)
You say weasel, I say Romney is a dangerous pig. Ryan is (if possible) a worse & more dangerous pig.
Don't get me started, now I got to take pills to calm down.
Oh, you win the PizzaQ. Yeah, they use special sand whose grain size and texture doesn't adhere to perspiring young [female] flesh, or that's what the beach volleyball expert sitting next to Bob Costas said.
You have ended up being a lot closer to Olympic-class sport than I ever did or will. Bob the Old Kommie was pretty disgusted with the Beijing Olympics, I have trouble enjoying the triathlon when political prisoners are being tortured and their organs are being harvested too close to the stadium. Some fans of Abbey Wambach left comments on Vleeptron threatening to castrate me for giving their goddess the finger for her dumb comments
... and I will be as grateful to K*** for her opinions on these complex matters as I will be to T** for his guidance re Insane Clown Posse. (Tell her I swam, briefly, for NYU so I could sleaze out of mandatory Gym Class.)
I just think Amazing Sports Skills are not a Free Pass for Dumb.
But the London stuff didn't creep me out like the Beijing Olympics did. There was some taste and thought, and it was cool to see HRH Elizabeth II parachute out of a helicopter. The Brits don't harvest organs from the political prisoners they execute.
Well, I have to go pray now that Romney does not become our President. Hi to C**** & everyone, the talented, the creative, the champions.
Your old Army pal,