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27 April 2015

Bitte, beuge mich! / er rollte seine Augenbälle

Click Werwolf to enlarge maybe.

Der Werwolf

von Christian Morgenstern

Ein Werwolf eines Nachts entwich
von Weib und Kind, und sich begab
an eines Dorfschullehrers Grab
und bat ihn: Bitte, beuge mich!

Der Dorfschulmeister stieg hinauf
auf seines Blechschilds Messingknauf
und sprach zum Wolf, der seine Pfoten
geduldig kreuzte vor dem Toten:

"Der Werwolf", - sprach der gute Mann,
"des Weswolfs"- Genitiv sodann,
"dem Wemwolf" - Dativ, wie man's nennt,
"den Wenwolf" - damit hat's ein End.'

Dem Werwolf schmeichelten die Fälle,
er rollte seine Augenbälle.
Indessen, bat er, füge doch
zur Einzahl auch die Mehrzahl noch! 

Der Dorfschulmeister aber mußte
gestehn, daß er von ihr nichts wußte.
Zwar Wölfe gäb's in großer Schar,
doch "Wer" gäb's nur im Singular. 

Der Wolf erhob sich tränenblind -
er hatte ja doch Weib und Kind!!
Doch da er kein Gelehrter eben,
so schied er dankend und ergeben. 

26 April 2015

musical tribute to Bruce Jenner

Whoops, sorry, you can't listen here on Vleeptron. Click Here.

oy oy oy zeta beta tau what have you done to my little yiddish boy / Spring Break! Wheeeeee! /

Laurence Bolotin, Executive Director 
Zeta Beta Tau International
Dear  Laurence Bolotin,
Please excuse me for urinating and barfing on you, but it's spring break, and I'm drunk. (But not illegally -- I'm 68.)
Although I checked out ZBT during freshman rush week, America was having a big overseas war at the time, so I never got around to pledging a frat. Thanks for the free drinks.
A few years later I was drafted and served honorably for two years in the United States Army.
I am embarrassed to admit that I took a certain pleasure from the SAE scandal at the University of Oklahoma. This is what I have come to expect from frats. I knew that Jewish college men would never act like this.
I have a lot of advice for ZBT to move on from this unfortunate incident, but on reflection, my best advice is that you should all go fuck yourself, and dissolve and terminate the entire ZBT fraternity. And take the Jewish sororities with you. America has a right to be spared further disgusting behavior from assholes like you.
Wishing you all a non-life-threatening but painful lingering skin disease -- shingles maybe -- I remain
Disgustedly yours,
Robert Merkin
SP5 US Army 1969-1971
Army Commendation Medal
Chesterfield, Massachusetts USA
P.S. Channeling my late World War II Army veteran uncles, including the one who was killed at the Battle of the Bulge: Go fuck yourself again.


oy oy oy zeta beta toy
what have you done to my little jewish boy
i sent him off to college to learn to read and write
now he dates a shiksa every friday night
i sent him off to college to learn to read and spell
now he thinks boruch atoh is a football yell
I sent him off to college to learn the jewish way
now he thinks a horah is a girl who's gone astray

-- popular college ditty circa 1920s
New York Daily News
tabloid, New York City USA
Friday 24 April 2015

Zeta Beta Tau frat members kicked out for spitting on wounded military veterans, ‘urinating on the American flag’ during rowdy spring formal at Panama City

by Sasha Goldstein

Three University of Florida students were kicked out of their fraternity after the group of drunken bros spit on and insulted a group of wounded military veterans enjoying a biannual retreat in Panama City Beach.

The fallout comes after reports of boorish behavior by members of Zeta Beta Tau at the Laketown Wharf resort last week when the frat boys clashed with families enjoying the annual Warrior Beach Retreat.

"They actually spit on me and my service dog as well, and that's just so disrespectful and it hurts,” wounded veteran Nicholas Connole told WJHG-TV. “I come and I feel honored and I feel safe and that I belong, but now I feel like I'm defending myself.”

Among other allegations against the students, who came from chapters at UF and Emory University in Atlanta, were claims the rowdy revelers stole American flags from the wounded vets, who hold parades and visit the beach during the weekend retreat.

"They're a total disgrace for our military," Warrior Beach Retreat founder and organizer Linda Cope told [television station] WJHG. 
"They were urinating on the American flag, they were throwing things off of the balconies."

The bottle tossing got the kids kicked out of the hotel, where the 60 or so wounded vets for staying for free after Laketown Wharf donated $68,000 worth of rooms and meeting areas, according to The Gainesville Sun.

Cope started the biannual event six years ago in honor of her son, Joshua, who lost both legs in a 2006 Baghdad blast. She was distraught the event honoring the military heroes had been tarnished.
“These guys were getting out of control," Cope told the newspaper. “I was just in tears. This was supposed to be a safe place.”

Both frat chapters have been suspended during an investigation.

The Florida chapter was already on probation at the university because of a fall hazing incident, according to The Sun.

“Being on probation means the organization faces increased consequences if they are found to have violated the probation requirements,” UF spokeswoman Janine Sikes told the newspaper.

The frat’s executive director said the organization has hired an independent investigator and is “committed to doing everything we can to make amends with the veterans community.”

“We have already expelled three members from our chapter at the University of Florida for inappropriate behavior at the event, and we will take additional action as the investigation unfolds,” Laurence Bolotin said in a statement. “In all cases, as we hold our members accountable we will follow the disciplinary process set forth in our bylaws.”

Cope said the rowdiness may be an indictment on the college spring break culture, which invades Florida beaches, including Panama City, every March and April.
 "I have not stood up and said anything about spring break because we constantly want to get the support of the community, but if this is at all indicative of what these college students do, we need to get rid of it," Cope said.
- 30 -


April 24, 2015
Statement from Laurence Bolotin, Executive Director, Zeta Beta Tau International
On Action Plan Regarding Panama City Beach Incident 
We wanted to share additional details around how our international organization is handling the incident that took place last weekend in Panama City Beach. 
  1. We are committed to doing everything we can to make amends with the veterans community.  We have reached out to start a dialogue with the Warrior Beach Retreat and to offer whatever assistance we can to rectify this awful situation. We look forward to continuing our productive conversations so we can find ways for our two organizations to work together in the future to support our nation’s brave veterans. 
  2. We have hired an independent investigator so we can fully understand the facts and hold members accountable.  While there is no doubt that some our members engaged in unacceptable behavior, it is important to separate fact from hearsay so that we can take any additional disciplinary action. We have already expelled three members from our chapter at the University of Florida for inappropriate behavior at the event, and we will take additional action as the investigation unfolds.  In all cases, as we hold our members accountable we will follow the disciplinary process set forth in our bylaws.
  3. We intend to turn this situation into a teachable moment for all ZBT members.  We have hundreds of alumni who have proudly served our country in the Armed Forces and many have reached out to us to offer their assistance in lending their knowledge and expertise to the education of ZBT brothers. We believe they have much to teach all of us about leadership, accountability and service, and so we will be taking them up on their offer.  We also have heard from many of our members who are eager to find a way to try to make amends and to better reflect our fraternity’s values and our gratitude for those who have served our country.  As a first step, we will use our planned half-day of service at an upcoming meeting to work with a veterans’ organization. We intend to make it an annual event.

We are committed to addressing this issue in a respectful, thoughtful and disciplined way.  While we understand the anger and outrage over the incident, we ask for temperance as we work to identify those involved and to hold them accountable.  The threats to our members and staff — including many who were not involved in the incident — cannot be tolerated and we are working with law enforcement to ensure their safety.   

April 23, 2015
Statement from Laurence Bolotin, Executive Director of Zeta Beta Tau International
Regarding Panama City Beach Incident 
Early this week our Fraternity was made aware of reports regarding an incident between several members of two of our chapters and veterans of the Warrior Beach Retreat during independent trips to Panama City Beach.  While the details of their actions are still under investigation, there is no doubt that some of our members engaged in ugly and unacceptable behavior. Their actions have no place in ZBT or anywhere, and they will not be tolerated.
On behalf of our entire organization, I want to apologize to veterans, both those who were in Panama City Beach, and those who have felt the pain from afar, as well as to their families and all who support the Warrior Beach Retreat and had worked to make it a positive and meaningful occasion for attendees.   I am deeply saddened that the actions of our members ruined this special event and failed to show the respect our military and their families so deserve.
As we continue our investigation, our chapters at the University of Florida and Emory University have suspended all activities and are fully cooperating in our investigation.  In addition, we have already expelled three members of the University of Florida chapter from our organization who we found to have been behaving inappropriately, and we will take any further action necessary as we learn more.  Our Fraternity also has issued an apology on behalf of all of our members to the Warrior Beach Retreat, the organization that was hosting the veterans to provide them and their families with the opportunity to relax and recharge. 
We are honored that hundreds of our ZBT brothers have served in the military and are disgusted that certain members of our Fraternity failed to exhibit the behaviors we expect from them towards our nation’s heroes — respect, gratitude and honor. 
We are committed to fully addressing the events that took place, and will be hiring an independent investigator to help us gather all of the facts.  Short-term, we are actively working with the resort, with the Presidents of both universities and with the local police to fully understand the events that took place.  In all instances, we have a zero tolerance policy towards this type of behavior and are committed to appropriately disciplining any members of our Fraternity who were involved. 
We also look forward to working with our members to make amends for this disgraceful situation by identifying opportunities to serve those who have done so much to serve us.  

24 April 2015

Cantor's Monster & the Aleph (also useful to put the Golem back to sleep) / exists there an alternative universe that skipped the Vietnam War? (Puncher, Wattmann, Fartov et al say: No.) / Woodrow Wilson '65 Reunion & Senior Prom (continued) / Eat Shit and Live

Click on images to enlarge

die Golem of the Praha ghetto, with magic Hebrew words that gave him Life and Death.

The Swiss Guards -- but they are NOT Toy Soldiers! These are Military Miniatures!

Aleph nul, George Cantor's symbol for the smallest infinite set. (There are bigger infinite sets.)

ach weg & Боже мой! last nite I examined the image in MSPaint with the Virtual Magnifying Glass and Lo! Ecco! There to the right and left of the artist's signature were the year, so, for LateComers to the Pizzeria, the new image has deleted the handwritten cardinal integers.

I just love Calendar Puzzles. The hardest thing i ever programmed was a program EASTERX to compute the date of Easter Sunday in the Reformed Gregorian calendar.

In Europe or all Christendom, is there or has there even been a guy called Cardinal Points? There aren't very many Cantor / Set Theory jokes / Wortspiele (sp?), I guess that's one of them.

Tell us more Man-on-the-Ground about that thing you got chained up in the backyard, Cantor's Monster. (note to self: write screenplay for SciFy movie about Cantor's Monster filling up every point in all possible real and imaginary spaces. See if Taylor Kitsch is available as the young rebel Topologist.)

Although Cantor's parents had converted to Christianity (I'm guessing Lutheran), when he invented The Monster and Mengelehre (sp?) he wanted a New Typographical Symbol which had never previously been used in math notation. Because of the demand for Yiddish printing, every Mitteleuropa print shop had the Hebrew Font, so George grabbed The Aleph. George laid it down, and it stayed there.

Jorge Luis Borges has a short story "The Aleph."

In the ancient sewers beneath Prague lurks die Golem, the Shabas Goy of clay, who sleepeth in a room without doors or windows for 33 years, then comes back to life in the Ghetto to cause Assorted Mischief. On the Golem's forehead is carved EMET = Truth, but the only way to put the Golem back to sleep is to erase The Aleph, because  MET = Death / Todt. So the spell to save the neighborhood from the mischief of the Golem is a Wortspiel.

btw if you have any interest in Living Forever, the Elixir of Life is disguised as the river of
Scheiße in the Prague sewers. Just put on a pair of sewer boots, climb down the ladder, drink your fill for hours, fill a couple of canteens for later or to give to friends, you will live forever. 

Send me back a Golem souvenir, the Golem is New Prague's tourist souvenir icon, now everybody with a Eurailpass and a VisaCard wants a Golem.

(The above is a True Myth. Have I blogged why the Unicorns went extinct? Only Agence-Vleeptron Presse knows this krap.)

PizzaQ 2: While filming the movie "Troy," what injury did Brad Pitt suffer? (1 slice Ementhaler)


Okay you posit an interesting Hypothesis: That somewhere in the MultiVerse loiters an Alternative Universe without the Vietnam War.

Actually a team of CERN physicists and cosmologists [Puncher, Wattmann, Fartov, Belcher, Testew, Cunard et al] recently proved that there can exist no Universe which does not contain the Vietnam War. In one universe, the Vietnam War takes place not in the rain forest of Southeast Asia, but in Broward County, Florida, but otherwise it's the same Stupid Useless War that France and the United States of America lose bigtime. And a different collection of Dead High School Pals dies in childbirth and comes back in body bags or as junkies.

When I get involved in Zionist web brawls, I point out that Europe had the 30 Years War and Europe had the 100 Years War, but obviously the post-Colonial Middle East is trying to break the record. Are your diplomats and humanitarians and financial executives taking a siesta or hiking in the Alps? Where are the Gnomes of Zurich? Maybe this is a job for Wilhelm Tell, because it looks like Geisler and his minions are winning from North Africa to Mumbai.


Save Your Analog Vinyl, 

Jimi Hendrix will Rise Again
(Kurt Cobain probably not. But he was on the cover of Rolling Stone a few weeks ago. Pretty nifty for a real long dead guy who mumbled incoherently.)

But I think a Mass Program of Making Today's Youth Love Our Vinyl Analog Music & its Psychedelia (BBC's Antiques Roadshow loves old Hendrix and Janis and Jefferson Airplane posters with documented provenance, no bootlegs) is doomed to fail. Pearls before Swine. Like taking the Blind on a field trip to Zentrum Klee.

Some College Girl Pals (The Smith College Radio Babes) took their feeble old weird guy pal to a Rave once out of pity. That was Different. Have you been to a Rave? How long have you ever danced continuously? Are there St Vitus or Tarantella outbreaks now and then in Yerp? St Anthony's Fire ergotism outbreaks? (Hermann's nightmare music in "Vertigo" is a Tarantella.)

I raise my hand in salute and suck on my pacifier: PLUR

My grandparents seemed to like to Flap and wear raccoon coats and play the ukulele and stuff dozens of themselves into telephone booths. and do the charleston, which had something to do with hands and knees.

Already in one of the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, Clark Kent dashed into a phone booth -- but it wasn't a phone booth anymore. It was just a sidewalk pay phone pedestal. He had to change into his Soot elsewhere.

In grandpa and grandma's generation their flivvers and Hispano-Suizas had a bumper sticker:

Okay more later about these interesting musical and cosmological and mythical and automotive topics. I got to eat something bigger than my head now.


I know you have/had the Universal Military Conscription like caught me by the testes, but when's the last time Swiss guys had to go all Transalpine and get shot at and blown up by evil heathens?

I'm not talking about the Swiss Guard, I like their nifty outfits. The company that makes the above metal miniatures promises that soon it will sell a tiny metal Pope to be protected by the tiny metal Swiss Guards.

The US Army trained me in about a dozen weapons, but I must have been doing kitchen duty the day they trained us to use the pike.

22 April 2015

My Old Flame / Dead Or Alive, only your actuary knows for sure / thanks for the nifty new prosthetic limbs / Woodmont Country Club / the night they invented codeine! / HAEC OLIM MEMINISSE IUVABIT

Click image to increase distortion.

PizzaQ: What year was this concert? PizzaQ Honor System, no googling, no phoning Klaas in Rotterdam and CERTAINLY do not ask Mom (who was probably there, and not wearing clothes). You must answer the PizzaQ without getting out of your computer chair. If you got one of them-there new-fangled smartphones, you can't use it to surf for the answer. Just stare at the screen. Maybe click a little around the Windows main screen.

(2 gluten-free slices of NYC style pizza with tons of shrooms and complementary plaster cast of Jimi.)



is Billie Holiday singing "My Old flame." 

It was introduced by Mae West in a movie, and when she layed it down, it stayed there. Also her youtube version is backed by the Duke Ellington (another Washington DC guy) Orchestra, and that rocks.

But Billie's has to be the greatest cover of this tune. Greatest possible cover ever. 

Miley Cyrus: Do Not Try To Sing This Song.

Not necessary to ban Amy Winehouse from trying.


On a closely related theme ...

Vleeptron Dude has received an e-mail notification that the 50th Reunion of his high school graduating class (Woodrow Wilson '65) will be held this summer.

I can't tell you who's dead and who's alive, but insurance tables and statistics can tell you HOW MANY guys and HOW MANY girls are dead and how many are still alive. (Oh, you know, +/- 3 or 4 Wilsonites. It's statistics, it's not like Nostradamus crap.)

Mary Ellen died in childbirth. She and her family had full and easy access to the finest medical care on the planet (and a good bit of money too). And remembering Mary Ellen -- I liked her a lot -- I don't think she died trying to birth her baby at home, or in the hot tub, or in a yurt.

One member of WW 65, a good friend, got fucked up in the head by hostile Commie weapons fire serving in river patrols in the Mekong Delta, and died a year after he was sent home. He quickly became a heroin addict. Thanks for serving.

(Like me, he was drafted / conscripted. I was luckier. Never volunteer. I'm sure he had not volunteered for the Mekong Delta tour.)

Woodrow Wilson was a very big and extraordinarily academically excellent public high school. It was kept academically excellent, putting its brighter students regularly into the Ivy League and 7 Sisters colleges and universities, by a de facto conspiracy of racial segregation, which was eventually declared unconstitutional by the U.S. federal appeals court. Judge J. Skelly Wright wrote the unanimous opinion (10 years after Brown v. Topeka).

We got Lefties (if they're still alive) Leftier than moi. We got Lefties what the FBI was trying to catch for decades. After I went back to community college after the Army, I met Jane Fonda at an anti-war presentation. I was the Student Senate ticket taker and she giggled when i said "ticket please."

The USA lost that war. Draft evaders who sneaked off to Canada still face all sorts of USA government shit if they try to come back to their mom's funeral. One old geezer got nabbed and detained in a U.S. Marines brig I think in San Diego for a few months before they just said fuck it and let the old man wheeze back to Canada. This was early during the Afghanistan/Iraq Wars Without End Amen, and the Bush administration just wanted the whole ugly Vietnam draft dodger thing to go away.

The Reunion will be at Woodmont Country Club in Rockville, Maryland. Our Senior Prom was there. The President of the Senior Class drove us there. His date, a Nobel Prizewinner's daughter, handed us a bottle of cough syrup laced with codeine. My date was President of the German Club. My Latin teacher was her German teacher and ran the Wilson German club. My date was the Nobel daughter's bff. She hated me and knew i was doing vile unspeakable bad things to her bff. (But I liked the Nobel daughter, like dad, she was real smart. I met her Nobel dad once. His work sort of made him live in D.C.)

The military and Veterans Administration were very proud of their efforts to improve prosthetic limbs to replace the limbs that got blown off Vietnam major combat vets. The G.W. Bush (and Hillary Clinton) wars have also done remarkable robot things to replace major body parts that got all fucked up by IEDs placed by camel jockeys and non-Christian Heathens.

Woodstock (which was not really in Woodstock NY) was a few weeks after I got drafted. I'm pretty sure I would have made a big effort to get to Woodstock. I got cool medals and was often mentioned in dispatches for my extraordinarily fast and error-free typing. I took my first LSD (thanks CH!) while I was in the Army, and every night or all weekend we'd get superatomic reefer-blasted in the barracks while listening to Zappa or Led Zeppelin. The Army started testing our pee a few weeks after i was honorably discharged from active duty.

Please Leave A Comment if you have advice for whether I should go to the Reunion of Woodrow Wilson '65.

My Old Flame might be there. Or she might be dead. An actuary can give you the best guess.


My old flame
I can't even think of her name
But it's funny now and then
How my thoughts go flashing back again
To my old flame

My old flame
My new lovers all seem so tame
For I haven't met a babe
So magnificent or elegant
As my old flame

I've met so many gals
With fascinating ways
A fascinating gaze in their eyes
Some who sent me up to the skies
But their attempts at love
Were only imitations of

My old flame
I can't even think of her name
But I'll never be the same
Until I discover what became
Of my old flame

Copyright (c) 1934 by Sam Coslow & Arthur Johnston
(slight gender alterations made in original lyrics)

The 2nd International Conference on Algorithms for Computational Biology (AlCoB 2015) / go to DF in August -- Vleeptron SWEARS you'll love the food if Plaza Garibaldi's still there / do not yell "Taxi!" in front of your hotel / if you're in Holy Orders, wear your vestments, it's legal now

Click image and postage meter to enlarge.

The 2nd International Conference on 
Algorithms  for Computational Biology
(AlCoB 2015) 

invites authors to submit work in progress for presentation.
AlCoB 2015 will be held in Mexico City on August 4-6, 2015. See

Presentations are intended to enhance informal interactions with conference participants, at the same time permitting in-depth discussion.


Authors can submit presentations describing novel work in progress on any of the topics within the scope of the conference. They do not need to contain final results, but research that may lead to future interesting developments
is welcome.


Submission deadline: June 26, 2015
Notification of acceptance or rejection: 7 days after submission


Please submit a .pdf abstract through:

It should contain the title, author(s) and affiliation, and should not exceed 500 words.


Each presentation will be allocated 15 minutes in the programme.


The presented work will not appear in the LNCS/LNBI proceedings volume of AlCoB 2015. However, it will be eligible for submission to the post-conference Journal of Computational Biology special issue.


Authors of work in progress have to register to the conference. They will pay a reduced fare. This comprises access to all sessions, one copy of the proceedings volume, coffee breaks and lunches.


Este mensaje no contiene virus ni malware porque la protección de avast! Antivirus está activa.

11 April 2015

Postalö Vleeptron litho misprint 4-sheet / heads-up: save this extremely rare issue, there will be no more

Click stamp to enlarge.

Lenny & Spike, the teenage part-time deputy postmasters of Postalö Vleeptron, contracted with a substandard lithographer in Ciudad Vleeptron for PV's commemorative "Private Luxury Supersonic Aviation." I arrived just in time to see these embarrassments roll off the press, and hit the STOP button.

After consulting with Lenny & Spike, we believe only 12 of these stamps (3 4-sheets) were issued. There will certainly be no more.

If you believe in the investment potential of phauxphilately, PV suggests you grab these misprints and put them in your safe deposit box. And wait. Don't use them to mail the cable bill.