Click postcards to enlarge.
Okay there is about a 93 percent chance that this Thursday I drive to the above GPS coordinates for the annual anniversary celebration of the most famous UFO Alien Abduction Ever on Planet Earth involving human tourists.
Here are the designs for the t-shirts me and S.W.M.B.O. will wear when we meet the other fans of Betty and Barney's 1961 UFO Alien Abduction in the Rte. 3 parking lot.
ABOVE: Saucer from Ray Harryhausen's "Earth vs. the Flying Saucers" (1956). SPOILER ALERT: Earth Humans defeat Saucer Invaders from Space.
BELOW: Saucer from Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1953), originals made from aluminum pie plates suspended on strings. Many cineastes believe Plan 9 From Outer Space is the worst movie ever since movies were invented. "Plan 9" is worse than "Ishtar" or Mel Gibson's "Mutiny on the Bounty" or Mel Gibson's "Hamlet" or Kevin Costner's "Dances with Wolves."
For Terrans who live far from New Hampshire USA, the rock guy on the old postcard is / was The Old Man of the Mountain. He was composed entirely of granite, he had been there forever, and came with a Guarantee From The Creator that he would be there forever.
Sometime in the middle of the night of 3 May 2003, he stopped being there forever and fell down to the parking lot below. And he has made no effort to pull himself together and climb back up the mountain.
(He did get the Last Laugh, though. In 2000 the USA Mint stamped his icon on millions of 25-cent New Hampshire commemorative coins. So The Old Man will stay recognized and famous for millennia, like Nero and Tiberius on Roman coins.)
He is / was on Rte. 3 in the White Mountains maybe 4 or 5 miles from where the Alien Flying Saucer first started buzzing Betty & Barney's Studebaker or Chevy on their southbound way home from a vacation in Quebec.
In the middle of the night this is one Very Lonely Spooky Isolated Wilderness Forest Highway.
In New Hampshire, no one can hear you scream. And cel phones hadn't been invented yet.
In 2011 New Hampshire erected This Historical Marker at the site where the saucer first buzzed the Hills' car. I guess that's where we'll meet the other friends of Betty + Barney, pose for photos, sell t-shirts and buy snowglobes, maybe a tailgate party, roast hot dogs and toast marshmallows, drink seasonal delicious Apple Cider.
The Anniversary occurs smack at Maximum Deciduous Forest Leaf Color Explosion, a unique and spectactular natural phenomenon of Planet Earth. One theory is the UFO Aliens zip to New Hampshire for the local scenery, like all the other tourists.
Personally I think the very large number of Saucer Sightings & Close Encounters in New Hampshire is because word has spread throughout Melkweg and the Local Group of our remarkably delicious and unique North Atlantic seafood. I especially recommend the Lobster Roll and the Belly Clams. The French Fries and Onion Rings are great, too, and all these places sell great chili cheese dogs. Many Soft-Serv ice cream joints haven't closed for winter yet.
Anyway, use the above designs, make your own t-shirt, then meet at the above GPS coordinates around sunset on 19 September (this year Thursday). Bring snacks, trail mix, Thermos of hot coffee or cocoa.
Here's an e-text of The Bible Of B+B's Alien Abduction, "The Interrupted Journey" by John G. Fuller. Most of the credibility of the Hills' experience is due to Fuller, an enormously respected national magazine columnist and journalist. His previous book, "Incident at Exeter," is about multiple sightings (many by local cops who probably were sober) of UFOs whizzing around the town of Exeter, New Hampshire USA.
So like -- what happened to Betty and Barney that night on Rte. 3?
And what will happen to me on Rte. 3 in the middle of the night this coming Thursday?
And will they still be selling belly clams and onion rings? Vleeptron will file a preliminary report as soon as we get back from New Hampshire. Or from Zeta Reticuli, where the Aliens may take us if they show up for the anniversary. I'll bring the camera.