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05 December 2008

Turtles All The Way Down / Write Israel's Livni to ask for easy, safe. respectful pilgrimage to Bethlemen at Christmas

You bet your sweet ass,
click on image.

The original stamp illustrated more festering dumb crap involving education officials in Texas forcing their loopy agenda of Creationism/Intelligent Design into the science curriculum of the public schools.

But this Theory of the World -- that it rests on the backs of an infinite tower of turtles -- is rather charming. Where it appears -- Stephen Hawking, Bertrand Russell, Carl Sagan, William James -- it is wrapped in the trappings of Hindu myth, but actually finding the authentic Hindu creation myth of the infinite tower of turtles is an evasive and slippery endeavor. It just might not actually be a Hindu myth. (Likewise, my beloved myth of the Towers of Hanoi isn't an authentic Buddhist legend at all, but a fable concocted by the French mathematician Édouard Lucas in 1883.)

Vleeptron would be thrilled if an authentic Hindu Left A Comment about this. I suspect Authentic Hindus -- like Authentic Muslims, Buddhist, Sufis, Swedenborgians and Zoroastrians -- have long ago given up on Vleeptron as hopelessly ignorant. They're right, but they could still be charitable in assisting Vleeptron's sincere desire to be Less Stupid.

This of course raises the very interesting question: If everybody's going to croak anyway, and return to chemical elements, who cares how smart or educated you've made yourself before the Finish Line? Can you use your Collected Wisdom & Knowledge as some sort of Next Life Upgrade for a higher-class experience in the Hereafter?

Is it possible that, in the grand scheme of things, my efforts to learn a little calculus, some electrical engineering, and a scant acquaintance with William Blake, Mozart and Glenn Gould, is the exact equivalent of Donald Trump's lifetime quest to become the world's biggest and most useless asshole?

In the Great Cosmic View of Everything, is walking old ladies across a busy intersection the precise equivalent of pushing old ladies in front of city busses? We are here for the twinkling of an eye; who cares if we won first prize at the high school science fair, or borrowed mom's car and made doughnuts all over the public golf course?

Please feel free to write short essays on these topics, or, if you're Irrascible Small, long poems. Rather than Pizza, the Pataphysics Institute at Yobbo Community College & Continuing Education Center will take all essay authors out to a Friendly's and buy them all Banana Splits. Anonymous Commenters may try to eat their banana split wearing a paper bag over their heads.

Where were we? Oh yes, Turtles All The Way Down. We've thrown in 2.5 more turtles at the bottom, cleaned up the text a little, greatly prettified the Denomination Infinity sign, and included the local unit of currency, the SD, or Sueño Despierto (Waking Dream, Daydream).

And removed the arrow pointing at the Dumbest Place On Earth & Proud Of It, Texas.

I was in a really awful mood this morning, and the only way I could Get A Grip and not Gas Myself in the Amana Convection Oven was to push pixels around on this very pleasing Faux Postage Stamp.

I have rejoined AML / Artistamp, the List of Mail Art and Faux Postage Obsessives, for reasons which will shortly be made Manifest. We first encountered our valued artistic, cultural, cuisine, historical and political contributer Uwe von Wedding, he is one of the Große Sterne of AML. I also had dinner in Amsterdam with two female artistes of considerable distinction -- gawrsh and goddam, this curious List to which long ago I was innocently abducted has unexpectedly ended up sprinkling me with the Authentic Fairie Dust of la Vie Boheme d'Artistes Européens. I've already ignited and knocked back a few bottles of Absinthe; Next visit: Cravat & Beret.

In the Wikipedia Wiki "Turtles All The Way Down" is a mention of Stephen Fry. He is the author of the new English libretto of Mozart's Magic Flute, set in the ghastly trenches of World War One in France, for the Kenneth Branagh movie which George Bush's Anti-Culture & Foreign Things Prohibiting Act is preventing me from seeing in the United States, either in a big-city theater, or on DVD.

Christmas / Hannukah / Kwanza / Solstice is nearly upon us, and if some Kind Person would like to send me this DVD, and instructions in Small Words on how to crack the Enigma Code so I can play it on my USA DVD machine, that would make me Very Happy. I would be Thrilled to send a jug of Maple Syrup, tapped from Maple Trees and boiled to deliciousness within 10 miles of my house, back in the opposite direction. Maple Syrup is the Mozart of Polysaccharides, nothing else will ever throw a party remotely like that on your tongue.

Winter has just begun to whack me in the genitals with an aluminum baseball bat, and that is much of the reason why I have been plunged into Despondency and Fugues of Anxiety. I should photograph myself right now; I look (and smell) like a Bowery Wino, or Charlie Manson. Also I have just attended two Thanksgiving Dinners, festivals combining the Delights of Old Friends & Family with the Horrors of a Mayan Basketball Tournament. Plus forced Overeating of Animal Fats & the aforementioned Polysaccharides.

'Tis also The Season of Christmas Carols Everywhere -- i.e., polydirectional unavoidable assaults on my ears and brain of a typically Very Bad Genre of Music. (A new addition, a CD of Glass Harmonica Christmas Songs, is actually rather sweet and certainly unique and different; I can endure that pretty well, I smile as it wafts through the house. Benjamin Franklin invented the Glass Harmonica, Mozart loved it instantly and composed for it, it sounds sublime and magical, but there's a persistent buzz that it gives lead poisoning to everybody who tries to play it -- the musical equivalent of The Mad Hatter, who used mercury to treat felt.)

This is a good moment to Scream at the Government of Israel to make it easy for Pilgrims to come to Bethlehem ("House of Bread"), rather than, as usual, next-to-impossible. Later we will get to Other & Bigger Regional Issues, but the difficulties which Israel puts in the way of getting to Bethlehem during the Christmas season are certainly one of the cheesiest, sleaziest, nastiest, most mean-spirited exercises of Raw Military Power on the face of the Earth. "Go away, Bethlehem is Closed, turn your car around or we'll shoot rubber bullets at you. Bethlehem is Closed for Reasons of Security."

moNGO and ask that you Copy this:


Tzipora Malka Livni
Foreign Affairs Minister
Acting Prime Minister
State of Israel

Dear Minister Livni:

I respectfully ask the State of Israel to permit and encourage hospitable, safe, respectful and cooperative transit to all pilgrims of all nationalities to and from Bethlehem during the traditional Christmas pilgrimage season.

I respectfully ask the State of Israel also to permit and encourage full tourism and hospitality activities and services for all pilgrims to Bethlehem.

I believe these decisions and acts by the State of Israel will yield significant and positive progress toward peace / shalom / salam in the region and throughout the world.


[your name here]
[town, state/province, country]

Then GO HERE and Paste your email into the Contact Webform at the bottom of the page. The page is in Hebrew, but you're smart, you can do this, and even learn the Hebrew words for SEND COMMENT.

We don't pull this kind of shit on Vleeptron. You wanna get to where ZzzQqq and DŽ were born on Hoon 948,221,302 Years Ago? It's straight ahead 4 more kliks, then take a left at the Big Lobster, you can't miss it, Have a Randiforgul LüüüüüüVüüüüüüNüüüüüGüüüüü!

1 comment:

javieth said...

I love this blog, is really amazing. The turtles are my favorite animal because they are quiet and they never represent a danger for anybody. This is the main reason why i love it. And how big they can be. Simply wonderful.
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