Click image to enlarge & marvel.
Polaris Dust Nebula
Image Credit & Copyright: Steve Mandel (Hidden Valley Observatory)
Research Collaboration: Adolf Witt (University of Toledo) et al.
Image Credit & Copyright: Steve Mandel (Hidden Valley Observatory)
Research Collaboration: Adolf Witt (University of Toledo) et al.
My Dearest Wife,
We have left the City and, for better or worse, now dwell deep in the Great Boreal Deciduous Forest.
City life certainly had its challenges -- a Superintendent of Public Schools, for example, who went about packing large-caliber automatic pistols which he waved in his live-in female partner's face before he was led away in handcuffs -- but we have exchanged these for a New Set of Different Challenges, such as owls swooping noiselessly down from the sky to devour our housecats, and where water comes from (a well pumped by an electric motor) and where the contents of the Chamber Pot go (a septic tank and leach field).
City life certainly had its challenges -- a Superintendent of Public Schools, for example, who went about packing large-caliber automatic pistols which he waved in his live-in female partner's face before he was led away in handcuffs -- but we have exchanged these for a New Set of Different Challenges, such as owls swooping noiselessly down from the sky to devour our housecats, and where water comes from (a well pumped by an electric motor) and where the contents of the Chamber Pot go (a septic tank and leach field).
Thank you, by the way, for tacking the
signs to the trees by the road. I do not fear Death, but I have a great dread of being pierced through the neck by an arrow or blasted by a 30-30 bullet because an armed drunk in green camo mistook me for a quadruped, which is why I scrupulously roam the new property wearing a ridiculous safety orange tuque during hunting season. Out here, one must prove one is a sentient biped, or suffer dire or fatal consequences.
POSTED
NO HUNTING
NO HUNTING
signs to the trees by the road. I do not fear Death, but I have a great dread of being pierced through the neck by an arrow or blasted by a 30-30 bullet because an armed drunk in green camo mistook me for a quadruped, which is why I scrupulously roam the new property wearing a ridiculous safety orange tuque during hunting season. Out here, one must prove one is a sentient biped, or suffer dire or fatal consequences.
Safety must be our overwhelming concern in our new surroundings, and this is why I brought to your attention the necessity of the Generac emergency propane-fueled electric generator, so we can sit out the next 8-day winter power outage and still get satellite TV and the Hi-Speed Internet. Thanks! It is One Nifty Gizmo, and I am already developing an unhealthy bonding relationship with this remarkable machine which watches over our electricity needs waking and sleeping.
In this Safety and Emergency Preparedness vane, I wish to bring another Important Machine to your attention, and discuss the necessary details for immediately purchasing and installing it.
The first fucking thing we must always know with Great Precision here in the GBDF is Which Way Is Up -- or, rather, Where is True North? (From this, it is a fairly simple matter to extrapolate to the east, west and south; three extra Machines are not necessary for this task, but a Theodolite would certainly be useful to have around the house.)
I have attached an image of The Machine we so desperately need installed and Ready to Rip before dread Winter descends upon us, our beloved cats, and our cozy cabin.
The Celestron NexStar 8SE Computerized Telescope -- well, this is simply the most dependable and inexpensive device on the market today for pointing to Polaris, the North Star, on a clear night, of which we now, for the first time in decades, have so many.
I believe it will be possible to purchase and install a housing to allow us to control and see the telescope images from the comfort of our indoor computers, rather than have to stick my eye up some rude eyepiece at 3 am on a night in mid-January. From what I have gathered from Sky & Telescope, nobody has to be outside any more to marvel at the night skies -- outdoor telescopy is so 1998.
I am convinced we are in Great Peril, particularly during the winter, until we promptly entrust our Land Navigation needs to the Celestron NexStar 8SE Computerized Telescope, and a few inexpensive accessories to make its use convenient, comfortable and up-to-date.
Concerned ever for the Safety and Comfort of our new household, I remain
Your Beloved Husband,
Bob
4 comments:
Yep, absolutely required. Definetly not one of those toys for grown up boys. With this thing you will support science, spot those bloody owls from miles away and have a good alternative to go outside and have a smoke and watch the heavens. Since I reckon that light pollution is non existant out there this will be a great alternative to TV even without a meteor shower or supernovae.
Speaking of, ever heard of Rev. Bob Evans ? A retired minister living in the Blue Mountains close to Sydney (Oz), Evans has a sort of record of finding the most amount of supernovae. He is up to 35 or more now since the early 80s I reckon. The clue is that the man uses an old-fashioned teescope in the small backyard of his house. Now wouldn't the missus be proud if you would detect a new asteroid / planetoid named after you, or even better, her? Possibly one that might crash into Jupiter like Shoemaker-Levy 9 and write science history ? Definetly one imaginary incentive I reckon for that amount of money ("Merkin Meteor hits Mars !" in 72dip on page 1 of the NYT).
Yeah, let me know how that approach goes over.
I thought it was really persuasive. Anyway, until I get my Celestron, I have been authorized to purchase a slightly less expensive gizmo, and it's on the way. Watch This Space for the announcement of its arrival.
Such a great article which Safety must be our overwhelming concern in our new surroundings, and this is why It brought to your attention the necessity of the Generac emergency propane-fueled electric generator, so we can sit out the next 8-day winter power outage and still get satellite TV and the Hi-Speed Internet. It is One Nifty Gizmo, and I am already developing an unhealthy bonding relationship with this remarkable machine which watches over our electricity needs waking and sleeping.
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