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06 August 2006

Vleeptron Tells You The Most Secret Thing On Earth!!!!! Learn The Big Secret ONLY from Vleeptron!

The guy who told me The Secret.
He said if I told anybody else,
he'd track me down and kill me,
and everybody else I told.

If you know Osama bin Laden's
current street address and apartment number, and the name of his favorite pizza delivery restaurant -- damn! That's quite a secret! Vleeptron's impressed!

But here's an Even Bigger Secret,
and Vleeptron is Giving It Away For Free! The World's Most Well-Kept Secret! And Vleeptron! will tell YOU!!!

The Toll-Free Customer Service Phone Number, which, after much button-pushing, will put you in Direct Speaking Communication with a Real Human Being, for Symantec (Norton Anti-Virus, Norton Utilities, etc.) is:

1-800-441-7234

(Maybe this is only good in the USA or North America.)

Have patience and faith, listen to about ten minutes of useless recordings, press the wisest buttons on your phone that you can in response to the arcane and labyrinthine automated menu, and eventually you will be speaking to A Very Helpful and Polite Customer Service Representative, probably in Mumbai, India (although she will say she's in Bombay, 'cause she know you're an American and assumes you never heard of Mumbai, or India either).

Oh, they don't list this phone number on the Symantec.com website. I had to Google

Symantec Customer Service telephone

and some guy on some tekkie nerd List spat it right back.

5 comments:

Jim Olson said...

I fear that you have overstepped. If you disappear, I shall miss you. Revealing Secret Information like this, (Like how to talk to a real human being when the LAST thing ANYONE in CUSTOMER SERVICE wants to do is actually talk to a CUSTOMER) can result in Soviet-style disappearing.

Bob Merkin said...

The very nice young lady was the first to say something non-businessy in our conversation, so I wished her and all she knew safety after the Mumbai train bombings. She said everybody in Mumbai is very scared.

Then she had a heart attack and died because I'd heard about the commuter train bombings in Mumbai. Her first heart attack was that I'd heard of Mumbai. jeeeeeeeeeez.

THE CLOISONEE TRAVEL PIN FROM THE OLD ROYAL OBSERVATORY @ GREENWICH IS
GORGEOUS!!! I'm wearing it RIGHT NOW!!! Thanks! Thanks! Love to D!

pat's pub said...

Symantedc software effed up my old notebook (grr). The software itself works pretty good, but the side effects are grr. And it is far too complicated for new PC users. Me notebook did not turn off properly or it took half an eternity to start it up, it slowed down e-mail sending, disabled itunes because it thought it was a virus and the online help on the website is non-existant. It took me an hour to tweak the bloody thing and even then I was not satisfied.GRRR!!!
Uninstall the whole bloody thing and get Search&destroy. It may not be as professional as Symantec but it works fine for me and it is FREE

Jim Olson said...

Hooray!

Abbas Halai said...

here's a whole list from a while ago.

the list.