Click, gets bigger.I guess I've been a little embarrassed to mention one of the publications of the Agence-Vleeptron Presse intergallactic media empire, but here it is, il Smutto, A-VP's Italian supermarket checkout tabloid.
I might have kept it a secret, but we have received this day, from our mensch-on-the-ground in Mitteleuropa, these very excellent long-range telescopic photographs of Villa Berlusconi on Sardinia during a recent get-together with the Prime Minister hosting several young ladies, apparently including his new young friend Noemi Letizia.
Il Smutto yelled STOP THE PRESSES! and is now bringing you these interesting poolside photographs. I don't know who the old man with his Bratwurst hanging out is, and I don't know who the nude young lady is. Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't think the woman is Mrs. Berlusconi, but I could be wrong. I don't think she was invited to this party.
I hope you can read Italian. If not, check out the nude young babe and the old dude with his schwanz flapping around, and make up your own translation.
I think our Mensch-on-the-ground is really maturing as a photo-journalist. He is beginning to have an acute appreciation of What News Is.
Il Smutto wishes to caution its readers not to jump to any hasty conclusions about the goings-on at Villa Berlusconi. There could be a variety of perfectly innocent explanations for these things -- a sudden fire drill, or yoga and exercise classes.
Il Smutto is available at all finer supermarkets in Italy, in the Santa Pasta neighborhood of Ciudad Vleeptron, and in markets all over lo Stato di Mangiare.
4 comments:
Apparently Mr. B had a massive case of plotzing when he saw the images, swore that he would file a law suit (which the paper denies as of yet). Berlusconi apparently said something to the extent of "would you hit the shower with your clothes on ?" and claims that these images violate his right to privacy, that this is a scandalous behaviour from the newspaper. These statements are highly contradictory, but at least his marriage is out of the spotlight as for now, but not for long, just untill someone finds a new lead.
Another person which can be seen on the images is Miroslav Topolanek, former Prime Minister of the Czech Republic, who denies everything and claims that the images have been manipulated. Funny thing is that Mr B does not deny having invited a chech delegation once to his home.
This whole scandal surfaces just as millions of voters across the European Union will go to the polls in the next few days to elect a new European Parliament in their respective countries. (Note: AV-P's correspondet lives in CH, wihch is not part of the EU and therefore not aware of this interesting tie-in).
The whole washing of dirty laundry (or, in some cases not much laundry at all !) will continue, much to the pleasure of italian tabloids and publications lite il smutto. Who needs clean news when you got dirty laundry ?
Note to Ed: Hey, there is this bloke who claims that aliens land on his farm every inght doing strange things in the cow shed. Want me to cover on that as well ?
According to election results Berlusconi's party scored 34 % of all italian votes in the European Parliament elections. This is an actual win because the left lost some seats, but Mr. B is still not happy, he had expected 45 %
Say what you want, but the man has what in yiddisch is called chuzpe or in latin america cojones. The sort of guy who would recitate Shakespeare while juggling with 4 chainsaws while standing on a high wire. He has been caught with his toches shown to the wolrld and has the same toches to sue the paper in question and turn this into a circus show in order to avoid a serious political scandal. Takes a lot of arrogance and self esteem to do that. Probably more than is good for him
Si! Ja! File latest dispatch on UFO aliens interfering with our Earth Cows in CH! Fotos of Aliens Anally-Probing our Cows worth Extra Pizza with Limburger!
Beloved old A-VP editor can't write much more, we are barely linked via Sony VIAO laptop to the Internet. Monday we had to conduct important e-mail business in a sandwich shop on the highway that had a big FREE WI-FI sign, I had the clam chowder, a seafood salad sandwich, and a side order of WI-fI.
Did you like il Smutto? I had So Much Fun publishing it! Supermarket Tabloid Journalism was always my Fantasy Career!
Hey Ed, I actually was there on the farm 2 nights ago. I was there a bit early, so the guy showed me his collection of Potatoe Chips that look like famous people. He's got Hendrix, the Dalai Lama and one that looks like Baron Münchhausen on the cannon ball, amaongst others. Unfortunetly I cannot mention the one potatoe chip that looks like GG on f_minor, they would not take me serious as they usually do.
His wife told a few funny anecdotes about how they got up one morning to find crop circles in their fields, but failed to tell anybody since the bloke had a breakthrough in an experiment on cold fusion. Remarkable bloke, good singing voice. Reminds me of someone but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Shortly after nightfall I heard a strange sound, almost like a theremin outside. The aliens had landed ! And they were heading directly for the cow shed ! And what they did in there is beyond any truthful description. Of course I made some images with my old Canon while using an Illford 400 bw film. Me, I'm old school when it comes to that.
But the strangest thing is when I had the film developed, there was nothing on !
Or so the clerk said.
I gotta go now, someone is knocking at the door. Who could that be at this time of night ?
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