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21 July 2009

Worst Day Issue (V.2): The Vleeptron New Smile Project / Bob invites you to Feel My Pain

Click on image, probably gets bigger.
Things have been slow on Vleeptron, and this is why. Dentists -- 2 at the same time -- have been doing some monster excavations in my mouth. I had Phase 2 last week, and am slowly recovering.

You should see my face. I look like Bulgarian sailors have been stomping me in a dark alley.

When it's all over -- maybe a month from now -- I will have a smile Tom Cruise will envy. And I'll be able to rip through solid food. Right now mealtime is a Fiesta of Mush -- tapioca pudding, cottage cheese, and when I'm looking for thrills, garlic hummus.

Meanwhile, please send me your sympathy -- I am particularly partial to Bill Clinton's "I feel your pain" -- and please forgive the slowdown.

Hang in there ... there is a particularly important post coming soon, a very rare and very significant poem. I thought I could just filch & post with the poet's permission, but the guy actually wants me to write about this very unusual work. And doing justice to his poem with my pathetic prose is proving to be challenging.
(I hate responsibility.)

And there is also Strange News From Jerusalem -- an ongoing streetcorner struggle between Thugs and Idiots, and Very Fine People, between bigots and idealists. Their weapons are ... alphabets!

Vleeptron also gonna post some Important New Developments in Porn!

Now I have to moan in pain, and get some sleep. But when next you see me -- I will have a Smile To Span An Ocean, and we can go down to Fernando's House of Slaughtered Quadrupeds and order a nice rare haunch of venison.


Big D said...

Yes the men in black in Jerusalem are making like difficult for the rest. If only they were a bit more tolerant....

patfrmch said...

I can feel your pain. Had to wear braces myself when I was a teen, during the formative years when girls are suddenly getting interesting and you discover new foods.
I can also remember me dad who had his teeth made about two years ago, a long and tedious process that lasted about a year. It was cruel to see the old man in pain and agony, suffering and spending a lot of money. Brace yourself, it will be over soon, look forward to enjoy life and solid food again.

In the mean time, and since I cannot resist....

Buy flowers online said...

Be brave, man....

twolegsnotail said...

cher Vleeptron Dude,
Without a moment's hesitation I say to you that there is only one thing worse than getting dental surgery and that is NEEDING it but being UNABLE to get it. Just look at it as giving birth to a new mouth... and by the way you're in good company: V. Nabokov, Martin Amis, both first class scribblers who got brand new expensive American mouths have both written about it and how dreadful it was to endure what came before - so take heart. It's summertime so put the fresh fruit in the blender with some good fatty joghurt, delicious. Learn how to make fresh gazpacho. I'm assuming that you could probably drop a few pounds with no regrets so take the opportunity now. You getting Percodan? Vicodin? Oxycontin? If not INSIST on it. See? You feel better already!