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29 September 2010

SPECIAL FOR MIKE! / in-home hospitality for door-knocking missionaries / recipes / Crime & ... uhhh i forget

Click on image for aroma.

Melbourne Herald Sun (Australia)
Friday 17 December 1999

Hash hospitality a prank
.....Defense Claims 

.....Cannabis Poisoning 
.....Just a Joke

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA -- The lawyer for two men accused of poisoning two LDS missionaries with cookies laced with cannabis (marijuana) told the court that the prosecution couldn't prove that the cookies had marijuana in them, and even if they did, giving them to the missionaries was an innocent prank.

First Lawyer Justin Hannebery told the court that the missionaries positive test results only proved that the missionaries were exposed to the drug, not that the cookies were the source. He says that a third roommate of the accused was smoking cannabis, exposing the missionaries to its smoke. "It doesn't have to be the most rational or probable hypothesis to be consistent with innocence," said Hannebery. He then said that if the cookies had been laced with cannabis, it was only meant as a practical joke.

But prosecutor Russ Hammill skoffed at the idea that this was only a joke, saying that the men knew the LDS missionaries hadn't used cannibis, but they were experienced users themselves. "They only consumed three cookies themselves and knew that if they had more they would have ended up on the hospital trolley (gurney) next to them," he said. "They encouraged the victims to have 12 each and didn't stop them.

"This may well have been a joke ... but they certainly foresaw the probable consequences of pushing cookies on religious missionaries." said Hammill.

While one of the defendants, Douglas James Lynch, 40, plead guilty to three charges of using, possessing and cultivating cannabis, both he and roommate Alexander McLean, 47, plead not guilty to seven charges including administering a substance likely to interfere with bodily functions and recklessly causing injury.

Magistrate Margaret Harding is expected to rule in the matter today.

 - 30 -


The Australian (Murdoch daily)
Saturday 18 December 1999

2 Accused of Giving 

Missionaries Marijuana 
Cookies Convicted

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA -- The bizarre case of two men accused of giving two LDS missionaries cookies laced with marijuana ended Friday with their convictions. Alexander McLean, 47, was sentenced to two months in jail while Douglas James Lynch, 40, was fined $450. McLean's sentence was suspended for 12 months, and he says that he will appeal.

Elders Tom Pettit and Andrew Housley told reporters Friday that they would be wary in the future of freshly baked treats because the cookies offered them by McLean and Lynch in May put them in the Hospital. The missionaries were offered and ate up to 12 cookies each, which McLean and Lynch each had no more than three.

Lynch and McLean told reporters after sentencing that they had nothing against the two missionaries, "If they knock on our door again they are quite welcome to come in, have a cup of coffee and a biscuit," McLean said.

During sentencing, Magistrate Margaret Harding said McLean and Lynch had broken the "particular trust" the public has a right to expect when visiting someone else's home. But the magistrate dismissed charges of recklessly causing injury, administering a substance likely to interfere with a bodily function and introducing a drug of dependence.

The Elders said they simply wanted to get on with their work, "We feel that this case is a reflection of the (drug) problem that is plaguing many nations at this time ... both in the mental and physical health of individuals," said their attorney, Mr. Housley. Elder Pettit added, "It's definitely taken us away from our normal duties, and from the purposes of being here in Australia. We're definitely looking forward to getting this behind us and getting back to our normal jobs." 

- 30 -



Chjyren Der Vjiking
Jedi Knight     posted 12-17-1999 10:20 AM

A Melbourne man who fed two Mormon Missionaries baked 'hash' cookies has escaped Jail.

The visiting Mormon missionaries say there are no hard feelings over what the court heard was a practical joke.

(quoted from Channel 10 TV news with notes in parentheses by moi)

All is forgiven, according to Mormon missionaries Tom Pettit and Andrew Housley. And they say their appetites for fresh baked biscuits which got them into trouble will not be curbed.

The 19 year-old Mormon elders were fed hash cookies {why do they keep calling them this? It's innacurate! You hardly ever get hash in Oz; these were made from normal weed, and are thus mere cannabis cookies} by Alexander McLean during a home visit to spread the Word. For that a Magistrate gave him a 2 month suspended sentence.

His friend, Doug Lynch, who joined in the theological conversation {HA HA! I can just imagine this conversation! Would have been real deep, but not very coherent! Hyech hyech!} at the kitchen table was cleared of drugging the pair. {polaroid shot of kitchen counter with bowl of 'mulled' green material and some cannabis paraphenalia}

{Vox Pop of the 40-ish Doug Lynch}
LYNCH (Smirking): "I'll stay out of the kitchen, and I won't pick up a Mormon."

The elders {shot of very happy-looking well dressed young men walking away from court} were taken to hospital after feeling the effects of the drugs. {Shot of what looks like stock polaroid image of rubber-gloved cop hands bagging healthy-green buds!}

They blacked-out, shook uncontrollably, their vision was blurry, and they had trouble hearing.

{Shot of smiling, laughing Police Officer outside court}
COP {grinning}: "It's just that they didn't know what was going on." {he laughs!}

With recipe book in hand, Alexander McLean says he's appealing.

{Vox Pop of McLean talking to reporters, 40-ish, suited, much more clean-cut looking than Lynch}
MCLEAN: "There is no 'secret recipe' - it's a standard recipe from a book, and, er, I'd be glad to make some for you.."
{ Oh, that dry Aussie humor! That's what got you in trouble in the first place, Alex!}

A happy snap shows when the missionaries first met Doug Lynch {polaroid of Lynch and Pettit sitting by two large pit-bulls who appear to be mauling one another!} that lead to the fateful home visit a week later. Doug Lynch was fined $450 for cannabis he was growing in the house. {shots of hydroponic gear}

{Shot of Pettit addressing reporters}
Pettit (nice young man, lovely teeth!): "So, we're definitely looking forward to putting this behind us and getting back to our regular jobs."
{But Tom! You're going to hell!!}

No rest for the elders who were back pounding the pavement this afternoon. As for McLean and Lynch, they say the teenage missionaries are welcome back any time.

LYNCH: "I wish them well .. and I'm sorry that it all got to this."

The Mormons are staying another year in Australia to continue their mission {and also to get hold of some righteous strains of Thai Stick which they're gonna propagate back in Oregon!!!}

This is Chjyren Der Vjiking returning you to your regular scheduled bongwater .. er, conversation.

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