Sure, click, that would be great.
Little is known about Planet mollyringwald, communication with it is exceedingly rare. Most Dwingeloo-2 planetary scientists and exobiologists believe the planet is populated entirely with women. This is the first postalplanet mollyringwald postage stamp not-mollys have ever received, but there is evidence that all its stamps represent the theme "men are pigs."
In many religions, suicides are not allowed to be buried in consecrated or holy ground.
"Avaunt!" means (or meant) "Go Away!"
For the wicked Captain Smith, I have used a portrait of British General John "Gentleman Johnny" Burgoyne (1722 – 1792), who royally screwed the pooch and surrendered his army of 6,000 at the Battle of Saratoga, New York, in 1777. He appears in George Bernard Shaw's "The Devil's Disciple," and is played by Laurence Olivier in the movie. Our victory at Saratoga pursuaded a reluctant King Louis XVI of France to help the American rebels against the British.
Open this midi (by Lesley Nelson-Burns, I think) in another tab and you can sing along with the tune. The lyrics and this historical sketch are shamelessly filched from this virtual tour of Nova Scotia, Canada.
The tune is also known as The Unfortunate Miss Bailey. The Burl Ives Songbook states it a traditional tune dating back to the sixteenth century.
However, according to The Traditional Ballad Index, the tune has been credited to George Colman the elder (1732-1794) and George Colman the younger (1762-1836). The tune appears in the younger's play "Love Laughs at Locksmiths."
After the War of 1812 the tune was used for The Hunters of Kentucky.
~ ~ ~
Miss Bailey's Ghost
or
the Unfortunate Miss Bailey
A Captain bold in Halifax
Who dwelt in country quarters
Seduced a maid who hanged herself
One morning in her garters
His wicked conscience smited him
He lost his stomach daily
He took to drinking turpentine
And thought upon Miss Bailey
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
One night betimes he went to bed
For he had caught a fever
Said he, "I am a handsome man
And I'm a gay deceiver."
His candle just at twelve o'clock
Began to burn quite palely
A ghost stepped up to his bedside
And said, "Behold Miss Bailey!"
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
"Avaunt, Miss Bailey," then he cried
"You can't afright me really."
"Dear Captain Smith," the ghost replied,
"You've used me ungenteelly.
The Coroner's 'quest was hard with me
Because I've acted frailly
And Parson Biggs won't bury me
Though I'm a dead Miss Bailey."
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
"Dear Ma'am," said he, "since you and I
Accounts must once for all close,
I have a one-pound note here in
My Regimental small clothes.
'Twill bribe the Sexton for your grave."
The ghost then vanished gaily
Crying, "Bless you, wicked Captain Smith!
Remember poor Miss Bailey!"
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
O Miss Bailey, unfortunate Miss Bailey!
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