Party Snacks / Chex Mix / M&Ms / Reese's Pieces / Disco Biscuits via PayPal & FedEx

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Today's unsolicited e-mail Spam is for drugs shipped to my door via Internet shopping. I don't know where they'd come from -- Mexico seems likeliest, or Canada, but occasionally the Feds bust a big pill warehouse in the US South -- I think most recently an operation in Louisiana.

In the USA, all of these pills legally require a prescription from an M.D. physician, and even if you have a scrip from an M.D., it's some kind of low-rent crime to buy them in or from another country like Canada or Mexico and ship or smuggle them home.

Here are today's Commodities Quote Prices for these various substances when purchased on the black or grey market.

Vicodin is a low-strength but authentically effective synthetic opiate painkiller, a brand name for oxycodone/oxycontin/hydrocodone/yaddacodone. In the Appalachians where these synthetic oral opiates first exploded in illegal popularity, the press calls them Hillbilly Heroin. The fictional television misanthrope Doctor Gregory House confuses Vicodin with M&Ms or Reese's Pieces (he's in chronic leg pain).

If you live at the North Pole, or on one of the moons of Saturn, you may not have heard of Viagra or Cialis. I knew a college-age Todd who didn't need it, but secretly popped a few on Saturday night just to put on a particularly thrilling and memorable show for his female dating partners.

I'm not sure exactly what Phentermine is and I just woke up and I'm too lazy to Google it. Is it Fun? Leave A Comment. Will it make the flaccid stiff? Will it make the bald hairy? Will I want to hug and dance for 73 hours with hundreds of strangers?

Some of these Spams also offer something called Soma, which was a euphoric bliss-inducing pill of the future Aldous Huxley invented in "Brave New World." I think this non-fictional Soma is a muscle relaxant.

Of course there's the mysterious question of what the hell these pills really are when FedEx drops them off on your doorstep. The US Food & Drug Administration whips the crap out of this suspicion to try to force senior citizens who have almost no money to continue to buy all their prescription drugs only in the USA at astronomically highway robbery prices, and not get them far cheaper in Canada or Mexico. Drugs from overseas (or overtrees) for poor seniors has become a very big political hot potato. It is possible that you can spend an educational day watching 73-year-old grandmothers and grandpas being handcuffed and led away to federal holding facilities at the US border crossings from Canada and Mexico. That must be attractive.

Here are today's prices. All major credit cards and PayPal accepted.