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28 April 2008

Dad was wearing a very Odd Shirt at the Whately Diner (where you can also buy a shower)

Okay, 24 potatoes are baking in the oven, and I have been dying to post this Oddity, and have spent the morning creating a little graphic for it.

Last weekend we had lunch at one of my favorite eateries, The Whately Diner, a Retro Monument of Stainless Steel, Plate Glass, Neon, and twirly counter seats. It's also a small-ish truck stop, and while you're there to gas up and chow down, you can also buy a clean shower, I think for $1.

It was crowded, and also waiting for a table to be readied was a family consisting of Dad, Mom & Junior (about 10). On visual inspection, they all seemed to have functioning nervous systems sufficient at least to get through lunch at an Interstate Highway diner.

Dad was wearing a shirt very much like this.

Nothing whatever flashy or lurid or naughty or kinky about the shirt. He could have worn it to an informal church function and nobody would have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

I noticed something out of the ordinary.

Apparently Dad doesn't just go to casinos (Foxwoods is a Native-American tribal enterprise in Connecticut USA). Inside the casino he doesn't just play the slot machines.

Apparently Dad gets mailings or e-mails from Foxwoods that announce


and he goes to this Event, tries to became the casino's BEST SLOT MACHINE PLAYER EVER, and as recognition, got the nifty t-shirt, which he merrily wears around in broad daylight in public.

Can you figure this out for yourself? Or do you need some guidance?

Every casino game is designed to obey this Rule:

On average, but 100% Guaranteed,
the Gamblers will lose money
and the Casino will earn money.

But the Loss/Earn ratio differs with each game -- Roulette, Blackjack, Craps, Chemin-de-Fer (uh-huh, where you can find that), Baccarat ...

Blackjack offers the best od
ds in the casinos, 49.5 to the Sucker, and 50.5 to the Casino.

This absolutely does not mean you have your best chance to win by playing Blackjack.

Rather, it means: You will lose your money at the slowest rate. So while some games will bankrupt you in a matter of an hour and a half, Blackjack will take all your money from you in hours, maybe even a day or more!

(Don't worry, casinos have plenty of Automated Teller Machines which will give you a Cash Advance on your Credit Card after you run out of the $300 you swore on your Grandmother's Bible not to gamble one cent more than.)

The worst game in the casino -- also by far the most popular and beloved -- are the Slot Machines (One-Armed Bandits).

The odds that you might win money by playing slot machines are mathematically equivalent to standing in front of a toilet and throwing cash into it and repeatedly flushing, and waiting for the toilet to suddenly fling back a giant bunch of cash at you.

So Dad takes a special trip of maybe 200 miles each way to stand in front of hundreds of toilets and toss his family's life savings down the toilets and flush them all weekend, until he gets a Repetitive Motion Syndrome ailment in his elbows. So he can maybe become The Champion Slot Machine Player of Foxwoods Casino.

And he wore this shirt in public. Wow. I was impressed.

And he had a wife. And they had a child. And they were allowed to operate a motor vehicle on the Interstate Highway.

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