This Faux Needlepoint Sampler crap is LONG TEDIOUS REPETITIVE HARD WORK (which I loathe & detest). I deeply admire the devotion and determination of people who purposely choose to spend decades learning and producing this kind of Needlepoint Fabric Art --
uhhh maybe we can have lunch once or twice a year. Or every 5 years just to keep in touch. That's about how often I may have Big Needs to spend time with such Volunteer Devotees and masters of this Craft / Technique / Kraft / Fabric Art.
Which in no way lessens my admiration for the work these whackos and addled compulsive people think is a Cornucopia of Mirth & Non-Stop 24/7/365 Enjoyment ... Fun, some have been heard to describe it. Bliss. Oblivion -- the Fun Kind. Lotus Eating with exquisite Beauty coming out the ass end.
What they have made and left behind -- knowing as they made the Sampler that 98 percent of their tedious labor was doomed to be badly laundered and left out in the backyard every summer for a half-century, increasingly falling to the whims & brutal ways of small children -- is Exquisite, an unexpected assault of concentrated Beauty in your face.
On a wall or on a website, I truly am thankful for those long hours, years, decades, lifetimes of laborious, repetitive, poorly-compensated, lonely labor. (Short infrequent toilet and kitchen breaks are permitted.)
There's a lot of Art a lot easier and faster to zip to the shipping department. And quite beautiful as well as robotically clever at the shortcuts (cf. the souped-up turbosonic hyperwhamatical version of MSPaint known as Paint.net , a college/uni students' Labour of Love project, with permission and assistance from Microsoft.)
They got software these days, you think it -- WHAM it's there, Voila, in 1D, 2D, 3D, maybe 4D, click desired number of Spacetime dimensions.
Soon we clever Earthoids will have freed ourselves forever from the enslaved Logitech trackball bonds of physical instrumentation!
We are racing to a near future when we will be able to move any size or kind of mass anywhere just by wishing it there -- We'll have developed a civilization no longer dependent on Waking Conscious Typing Fingers.
You think toast, and there's your toast, promptly served on your slightly radioactive (the vibrant color uranium glaze) Fiestaware (tm) lunch plate. I'm sure this will be a wonderful development, I see nothing but Happiness & Prosperity Ahead for the Think-It-So-Make-It-So just around the corner. How lucky our children and grandchildren will be. Is Kurt Russell still making those Snake Pliskin "Escape From" movies?
In the last year, major voices in our planet's astronomy community have testified or said in unusually candid terms that our state-of-the-art leading-edge science-based defense against life-extincting Big Fast Space Rock Smash Events (BFSRSE) is pretty much Mass Abject Knees Prayer and Virgin-Flinging.
4-Star US Air Force generals also testify about the benefits of Knees Prayer and Virgin-Flinging when Earth and human civilization face (surprisingly frequently) extinction or severe long-lasting damage, compromise, and oubreaks of cannibalism by severely Protein-Challenged neighbors and family members. Back to Ooky-Ooky times & tech.
A big problem is that Earth is Large, and Massive, and thus generates a not-inconsiderable gravity field, which now and then attracts a Big Fast Space Rock to change course along its previously harmless elliptical orbit and veer our way.
This is an appropriate time to advertise for young virgins and schedule mass prayer services.
In actual recent USA Congressional testimony, experts have suggested -- jokingly, hahaha -- that NASA put Bruce Willis on standbye status, put Bruce on SpeedDial, only Bruce Willis and his oil driller buds have the necessary experience and skills to make the Life Extincting Big Space Rock not turn Earth into Powdered Toast. (Robert Duvall & younger astronauts also saved Earth by flying an H-bomb in the Space Shuttle to snuff a Big Fast Space Rock.)
Anyway, Faux Sampler Folk Art Rewlz! Needlepoint Rules! Petit-Point Rewls! (even if it's faux on MSPaint or Paint.net , the sleazy intangible digital virtual way Vleeptron Dude cranks it out).
I've filched some wildlife and landscaping -- tree, Great Horned Owl, tulips, butt-sniffing kitty-cats -- from an earlier Home Sweet Home faux needlepoint sampler.
Leave A Comment.
Or Know the Wrath of Vleeptron Dude. Vleeptron Dude will extract his revenge if it takes 73.6 years to find you.
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