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06 September 2006

you want this damn Platonic Object or not?

Yankee Magnetic Software
Galactic Headquarters
Ciudad Vleeptron
(architect: I.M. Pei)

Okay here is the deal about the previous post.

Nobody has requested Vleeptron's FREE Platonic Object YMSSIEVE.EXE

I put a lot of work into it and I think it's pretty nifty.

Maybe you couldn't find my e-mail addie. It's bobmerk@earthlink.net

More likely, you're terrified to download and run an *.exe file.

It's a Trust and Courage thing.

Are you brave? Do you trust Bob of Planet Vleeptron not to send you something which will give your computer cooties?

Of course if you're a Coward, don't ask for YMSSIEVE.EXE . Just stand in front of a mirror and say "I am a coward" a few times, and then don't request this Amazing Free Proggie.

But if you're brave and you trust Bob, I think you're in for a treat.

This sucker will certainly wiggle and dance for you if you're a Windows computer.

If you're a Mac, it might possibly blow up your house, I have utterly no experience with Macs. But somebody told me every Mac now has a Windows emulator so it can pretend it's what it always really wanted to be in the first place, so if your Mac is pretending it's a Windows computer, it should have no trouble running this Platonic Object. A Mac might even be able to run this sucker straight, no chaser, who knows?

Every Yankee Magnetic Software program comes with the

YMS
100% Cootie-Free
Guarantee


Yankee Magnetic Software was founded in 1978 when I discovered that if I wrote or phoned computer equipment companies begging for things I needed for my crazy IMSAI, they would hang up on me or never answer me.

But when I wrote to them as

Robert B. Merkin
Software Development Team Leader
Yankee Magnetic Software

they would send me huge amounts of free stuff, free documentation, free Chips, all kinds of weird arcane crap that I either needed or else had lots of weird, arcane fun with.

Now 28 years later, Yankee Magnetic Software employs more than 6100 Senients of all 5 genders from 4 planets in the Dwingeloo-2 Galaxy, produces some of the strangest software that ever ran on a personal computer, still gets me Free Crap from time to time, and in general has brought me more mirth than people should be allowed to have with their trousers on.

If you have the guts, don't forget to ask for BEER.EXE , YMS' all-time most popular proggie.

YMS also has a Verboten Video Game which I sincerely think is sicker and more perverse than GTA/SA. I don't know if I'm brave enough to give it to another human being on Earth, but maybe if you beg and swear not to tell anybody where it came from, I might send it to you.

I don't want to get on Hillary Rodham Clinton's shit list. The USA is currently waging two wars in the middle of Asia, so Senator H.R. Clinton spends most of her time in the U.S. Senate saving Our Precious Children from naughty video games.

The buzz is she may run for President in 2008, and if she wins, our soldiers and Marines will still be getting the crap blasted out of them in Iraq in 2016, but American Youth will be safe from naughty video games. I guess she'll do that by passing laws to throw 40,000 computer geeks in prison.

The United States became the World's Largest Gulag -- We're Number One! -- surpassed Russia's prison population, and hit the 2,000,000 Prisoner Mark, during Bill Clinton's presidency.

I don't know exactly what I think about Saving Our Precious Children by putting 2,300,000 of our Less Precious Adults behind bars. Right now women have become the fastest-growing segment of Gulag USA Occupants.

Oh, and we also Save Our Precious Children by putting lots of our Less Precious Children ("Superpredators," in former Drug Czar and casino gambling addict William Bennett's lapidary phrase) behind bars, often by prosecutors using their discretion to fast-track them to Adult Felony Court.

~ ~ ~

So like ... Are you brave?

(Probably not. Too bad.)

Do you trust Yankee Magnetic Software? Millions of Sentients all over the Dwingeloo-2 Galaxy trust and adore YMS. And think YMS proggies are way cool.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol

-Zoness

Bob Merkin said...

Hey Zoness! Thanks for visiting! Where ya been? School started? yadda yadda See ya on Undernet!

Jim Olson said...

Um, dumb question I am not sure I know the answer to. Can I run a .exe file like this on an Apple? I've gone over to the dark side...I now own a Mac Mini and a G4 iBook laptop.

Bob Merkin said...

Not a dumb question at all. I just wish I had a definitive answer. But I have a Partial Answer with good news.

Because there's nothing malicious in my proggies, trying to run them on an Apple can't possibly do your Apple/Mac any harm.

The worst that could happen is that your Apple/Mac OS might belch and freeze, and you'd have to re-boot. But my guess is that if your Apple routinely runs anybody's .exe programs, it'll run mine.

Abbas Halai said...

wasn't i. m. pei the dude who designed the louvre pyramids? i think i remember john carpenter answering that on the half a million dollar question on 'who want's to be a millionaire'?