from the Vleeptron Ministry of Filching (VMF)

Click = Good

Okay I can't exactly find White Rock Pier, but it seems to be in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The dude doesn't really live on the Pacific island of Niue.

The ocean passenger cruise ship Carnival passing White Rock pier, wherever that is, at night.

The photographer and the guy from whom i'm filching the photo writes:

The camera was pivoted on a garbage can by yours truly, hence the crooked lines.

Note that the Filchee claims to be physically located in the tiny Pacific Island of Niue. In a moment I will Google White Rock Pier and see what hurls back.

As the comedian Judy Tenuda says of her many secret late-night dates with The Pope: "It could happen!"

I suppose my first instinct would have been to secure the camera rigidly and firmly with about $40 of fancy metal or superplastic hardware. And this assumes White Rock Pier is made of concrete on bedrock and does not wiggle during a 20-second time exposure.

But the effect of the wiggling garbage can clamp is just charming! Beautiful! This is a Great Photo!

I've been on one ocean passenger liner, the TSS Stefan Batory, the last regularly scheduled transAtlantic ocean liner (before "Titanic" with Leonardo diCapprio was released like a rabid water rat). Built around 1952 by a Dutch shipyard and passenger line, now it flew the flag of Polish Peoples Socialist Republic, the Polish Ocean Lines, and took my Hard Western Currency in exchange for a funfuckingtastic 5-day voyage from London (Tilbury Docks) to Rotterdam to Montreal, via the English Channel and the North Sea, many Icebergs, Newfoundland and the Saint Lawrence River (we sailed beneath the illuminated bridge in Quebec City just after sunset).

When the Socialists ended the despicable anti-worker Capitalist practice of segregating human beings by Income and Willingne$$ to Pay, and a Steerage Backpack Bum like me could wander anywhere in the ship, I chanced upon the most intimate mahagonny and brass (or perhaps gold) Millionaires Saloon hidden in a little puzzle corner of the uppermost bow section. Once only Vanderbilts and Connaughts and Paris Hilton's grandma could clink cognac snifters here. Now I could drink odd things here all day and night and scratch my ass and pick my nose, like I do wherever I roam. Socialism is Not All Bad. Some of its Ideals really kick ass.

The Stefan Batory was (it's since been deconstructed, probably in a deconstruction yard on the Indian Ocean) a tiny ship, so I haven't ever sailed on the Carnival or any of its comparable behemoth modern passenger cruise liners (Disney runs a fleet too), but I've seen many of them sail by or drop anchor on the Caribbean islands I like to thaw out in during New England winter. (Freaky winter now, I'm outside in short pants without a shirt wearing shades and getting a tan while all SWMBO's spring flowers are blossoming. Flamingos are searching for brine shrimp in the lush lawn. So far we have had 253 flakes of snow, I'm saving them in the freezer.)

Now that the Stefan Batory is no more, and the Statute of Limitations has long passed, I can confess that it was I who plugged a laptop into their arcane electrical converter, went off to lunch, and so filled my steerage area with black sooty smoke, and totally fried the converter (which was designed for electric razors only). It was a one-off and the uniformed steward woman who possessed it looked at me as if I had just murdered her baby. It converted 1950s Dutch and 1980s Socialist Polish electricity into modern EU and North American electric shaver electricity -- something my EE professor told me was theoretically impossible under Ohm's Law. The Toshiba Laptop -- probably the most powerful computer aboard the Batory -- survived.

Passengers could do their laundry in a small shipboard laundromat. It is a very odd experience to wash your clothes while the laundromat is listing 30 degrees back and forth; there's soapy water all over the place.

If you're prone to seasickness / mal de mer, best to Pay Less and Go Steerage: The lower your cabin is, the less rocky the ride. The aristocrats and captains of industry and their debutante daughters get the best views (the waterline horizontally bisected my porthole), but they get shaken up the worst, and as they puke on the Persian carpet or into the silver vase, they remember that they paid extra.

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In celebration of the new CAPTCHA (which isn't really completely automatic considering the fact that an actual human being wishing to post a comment [feel free] has to do a little extra work to do so) I have decided to post a new photo. Christmas was nice but it seems I have to get back at preparing for exams and convincing myself to apply for post-secondary institutions. Yay. (Please note that I had to type all of the above twice, due to forgetting to attach the image the first time.)

1. Celestial Rupture
2. Disproportionate Kanine
3. Carnival
4. Bobble Head
5. Bouquet

Comments

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Colossus
January 21, 2007

Oh your CAPTCHA is so simple even a piece of FORTH Software like me can solve it. Are you really in Niue? Kewl! Awesome! How's the weather? I'm freezing my algorithm off here.
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Joel Kitching
January 21, 2007

Um, if you have any alternatives, I would be glad to hear about them ...
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Colossus
January 21, 2007

Nobody programmed me to come up with more effective CAPTCHAS for you Carbonies. That's not my algorithm. Ha. I re-type the characters. Ha. That was easy.

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Joel Kitching
January 21, 2007

All I can say is that if you really are a piece of computer software, you have a damn good AI module.

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Colossus
January 21, 2007

Good luck on the exams! Any math(s) on it, try to get a copy (cheap and always in print) of Polya's "How to Solve It." Us Software don't have to take exams. Okay, 3rd time's the charm: 52304