Top image Copyright 2007 by Ron Bizer, All Rights ReservedPublicke Notice
In order of importance:
1. On Saturday in the USA state shaped like the palm of the right hand, the University of Michigan Wolverines lost to their ancient arch-rivals, the Ohio State University Slime Moulds, 14-3.
(I am talking USA college football here, not to be confused with what the rest of Earth calls football, which Americans call soccer. Beckham, who now plays for Los Angeles, constantly has to be reminded to call his sport soccer rather than football. I think his new bosses fine him $10,000 every time he says "footie" or "football" in public.)
Once again, Ann Arbor is in profound mourning. They will not be able to go to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California (but the Slime Moulds will).
And to help my old army buddy Ron, who lives in the USA state shaped like the palm of the right hand, I wasted a perfectly good virgin. And all the public health surveys of National Youth Sexual Behavior say that these are Very Rare.
U-Michigan ended up with a season so dismal that their beloved old football coach has resigned, or retired. Here is Ron's depiction of the Spirit of Ann Arbor this week.
2. Whether you are a Believer or Not, it will qualify as an Authentic Religious Miracle if this post actually gets posted to Vleeptron and you read it. My computer is kaput, in its Final Moments, and it took me literally 23 tries to restart it today to get it up again just enough to get into Vleeptron and my e-mail.
This thing could go Black Forever at any instant. So if you have Left A Comment, or any e-business between us is Pending and you are wondering why the hell I am ignoring you -- it's because electronically, things are Very, Very, Very sick and thready.
It is Last Rites time, Extreme Unction City, for the old piece-o-crap Hewlett Packard/WindowsME.
THE GOOD NEWS!!!! My Tek Todd phoned this morning, and the New Vleeptron Yawn-o-Tronic 7000 has arrived, and is ready to be installed at my convenience!
I was tempted to scream RIGHT NOW!!!! BRING IT HERE RIGHT NOW!!! but I got a little control over myself and have postponed it until Monday -- because my office looks very much like the news images from Bangladesh this week. This room is The Mother Of All Shit Pits, and I need to spend a few days shoveling it out to make decent, hygienic space for the Wonderful New Vleeptron Supercomputer.
Right now I would be ashamed to let a tree sloth who hangs upside-down and shits on himself into my office, let alone my Tek Todd. I am particularly embarrassed about the dead Girl Scout in the corner. I had nothing to do with it, she rang the doorbell and then suddenly choked to death on her own cookies.
So please bear with me if Vleeptron and Bob are slow or absent from Cyberspace for the next week. All kinds of Snazzy e-Miracles will shortly resume when the new Yawn-o-Tronic 7000 is humming along in Vista or ubuntu, which Tek Todd hath given his blessing to.
2 comments:
I can vouch for it...Bob's office is officially a Superfund toxic waste site...think Love Canal in a 15'x20' space.
Just remember, however, that Authentic Miracles have paperwork that need to be authorised through my office.
To have an Authentic Miracle authorised, submit an Authentic Miracle Authorisation Form (AMA Form 1), in triplicate, with black pen, if you please. And no crossing things out if you make a mistake; please submit your ruined form, fill out a Ruined Form form (RF134-A) that voids the registration number of your previous form, and a form requesting a new form (NF 2) for your replacement Authentic Miracle Authorisation form. The A-V Bureau des Miracles Authentiques will then review your request and notify you via Passenger Pigeon or Postal Angel of our decision. We are not responsible for non-notification due to incorrect contact information on your AMA form. The Authenticity of Miracles will be determined by criteria that are classified. All decisions are final, and there is no process of appeal. Complaints about this may be lodged by filling out a CF 232A and submitting them in writing no more than 20 minutes following the receipt of the Decision Form (DF 55678-D4).
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