A-VP is Really Sorry / Hubba Hubba / Berlusconi & his Young Friend / Dirty Old Bugger / Tio Rico / PLUS: More from Tragical Historie of Doctor Faustus

Click and good luck!

HEY CIAO MISS WELBY!

YOU GOT ANY MORE FOTOS OF THIS HEALTHY YOUNG WOMAN?

PLEASE SEND BEST IMAGES TO BOB THE VLEEPTRON DUDE

MILLE GRAZIE!

3 Comments:

patfromch said...

Ah this one definetly made my day....The millions who do not visit your blog don't even know what they have missed...Is this one of the pics rumoured to be smuggled out of Planet Björk ? If so, then fix that bloody Zeta Beam, I am moving on.....never to return !

Saturday, 30 May, 2009

patfromch said...

...oh yes that old bugger ! Now I know where I heard the name before ! It was just on the evening news...
No, nothing going on here, nothing interesting to see, just walk on, haven't missed anything, nothing happened.

(Note: Dirty Ol' Sugardaddy has ihs own TV station which I can get here on cable. If you think Fox is dumb then you have never seen Itali Uno. Last Sunday or so the old man booked one hour on his own TV station to explain to the nation what was going on. Nothing apparently and it took him one hour to explain that in full detail....)

Saturday, 30 May, 2009

Vleeptron Dude said...

I wish first to apologize to all my 9 devoted readers for this filthy pornographic image. Its publication was far beneath the High Standards that have made Vleeptron and VleeptronZ a legend in electronic information processing and dissemination.

The AV-P Ombudsperson has thoroughly investigated, and has learned that Lenny & Spike, the universe-wandering teenage dropouts from rural South Carolina, were on duty and responsible for the blog last night when this smutty Lolita-tinged image was posted.

The Alps are Tall, and the Passes often blocked with snow -- have you not been getting your morning newspapers reliably delivered from Italy?

Worse, you are A-VP's Mensch-on-the-Ground in Mitteleuropa, and YOU were supposed to have e-mailed this foto, and many more, to ME, your beloved old editor at A-VP Galactic Headquarters.

You speak Italian, for Christ's sake.

Not that speaking Italian is necessary to perceive the positive aspects of this attractive image of Healthy Youth.

What's the skinny on this thing? Did the Dirty Old Gazillionaire goose the child at her birthday party? Did they do Inappropriate Stuff at his villa on Sardinia?

I love this scandal. If Berlusconi had paid me to think of a plan to get him destroyed forever, I couldn't have done better than this.

This has everything! Starting with the word no Italian wife should ever whisper:

DIVORCE.

an ex-wife, 8 kids -- dogs, cats, ponies -- yachts, villas, and this adorable Sweetie Pie, with the questionable age photo i.d. legal age card.

Viva Italia Siempre! Viva Berlusconi! Viva the Testicles! and most of all -- Viva Noemi!

Oh Oh I left out some juicy parts, it's about a Dirty Horny Powerful Old Man who makes a really sleazy secret deal with a real creepy guy:

========

FAUSTUS. One thing, good servant, let me crave of thee
To glut the longing of my heart's desire:
That I might have unto my paramour
That heavenly Helen which I saw of late,
Whose sweet embracings may extinguish clean
These thoughts that do dissuade me from my vow,
And keep mine oath I made to Lucifer.

MEPHISTOPHELES. Faustus, this, or what else thou shalt desire,
Shall be performed in twinkling of an eye.

Enter Helen [brought in by Mephistopheles]

FAUSTUS. Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.

[They kiss]

Her lips suck forth my soul. See where it flies!
Come, Helen, come, give me my soul again.

[They kiss again]

Here will I dwell, for heaven be in these lips,
And all is dross that is not Helena.

Enter [the] Old Man

I will be Paris, and for love of thee
Instead of Troy shall Wittenberg be sacked,
And I will combat with weak Menelaus,
And wear thy colours on my plumèd crest.
Yea, I will wound Achilles in the heel
And then return to Helen for a kiss.
O, thou art fairer than the evening air,
Clad in the beauty of a thousand stars.
Brighter art thou than flaming Jupiter
When he appeared to hapless Semele,
More lovely than the monarch of the sky
In wanton Arethusa's azured arms;
And none but thou shalt be my paramour.

Exeunt [Faustus and Helen, with Mephistopheles]

===

Hubba-Hubba!

Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships / And burnt the topless towers of Ilium? (Christopher Marlowe, "Doctor Faustus")

Sure, click. See her in Perv-o-Vision.

She's 18 now. Absolutely nothing to see here. Move along, nothing going on here.

souvenir postcard from Planet Björkguðmundsdóttir of memorial to Garfield's proof of the right-triangle theorem

Clicking image will enlarge.

A little more information has trickled in from the mysterious recently-discovered Planet Björkguðmundsdóttir. We have been permitted to see this extremely rare souvenir postcard from Planet B, which we reproduce above.

Apparently no one on Planet B. has ever heard of Pythagoras, or his wonderful proof, circa 500 BC, of the right-triangle theorem. This is not, as we previously assumed, a planet of Pythagoreans.

Björkguðmundsdóttiroids believe James A. Garfield was the first sentient in the universe to prove the right-triangle theorem, using a method based not on the squares of the sides, but on the area of a trapezoid.

So they are not Pythagoreans, they are Garfieldites, and they worship and revere James A. Garfield, and refer to him as The Master.

No big deal. One proof of something is every bit as good and valid as any other proof, and who or what proved it first is of absolutely no relevance to the Truth of the particular theorem.

Note the stamp in the corner. These objects are believed to be moons of Planet Björkguðmundsdóttir.

Memorial Day 2009 / posters from American and British wars

Click on image for larger.

Unlike Veterans Day / Remembrance Day / Armistice Day in November, which marks the end of combat in Europe in 1918, Memorial Day is an American holiday to honor fallen soldiers of both sides, the North (Union) and South (Confederacy) in the Civil War / War Between the States.

At bottom right is a recruiting poster calling on young men to enlist in General Washington's army to win independence from the British crown.

global loans begin flowing again, underdeveloped nations take the lead / Happy Days Are Here Again / The skies above are clear again / So let's sing a

Click, Carmen Miranda and her tropical fruit get bigger.

Received this date the following offer from a Brazilian certified money lender.

I am very pleased at this evidence that the global credit markets are reviving, and funds are flowing again to stimulate production, and economic activity.

It is particularly heartening -- though quite unexpected -- to find the first responders to the global financial crisis emerging not in the failed and discredited Western wealth centers, but in nations traditionally regarded as underdeveloped.

<*> <*> <*> <*> <*>

"We're in the Money"

lyrics by Al Dubin, music by Harry Warren
(from the film Gold Diggers of 1933, 1933)

We're in the money, we're in the money;
We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!
We're in the money, that sky is sunny,
Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong.

We never see a headline about breadlines today.
And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye

We're in the money, come on, my honey,
Let's lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!

Oh, yes we're in the money, you bet we're in the money,
We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!
Let's go we're in the money, Look up the skies are sunny,
Old Man Depression you are through, you done us wrong.

We never see a headline about breadlines today.
And when we see the landlord we can look that guy right in the eye

We're in the money, come on, my honey,
Let's lend it, spend it, send it rolling along!

Prepared by Professor Catherine Lavender for courses in The Department of History, The College of Staten Island of The City University of New York.

+*+*+*+*+

----- Original Message -----
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[also: Mr. Paul cork ]
To: "undisclosed-recipients:"
Sent: Monday, May 25, 2009 12:52 PM
Subject: APPLY FOR YOUR URGENT LOAN AT 3% INTEREST RATE

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--
Esta mensagem foi verificada pelo sistema de antiv�rus e
acredita-se estar livre de perigo.

requested images and information about Planet Björkguðmundsdóttir

Clicking image advised.

Hi Dan,

The two outermost planets in the Vleeptron-Hoon-Yobbo system (its sun has a name, but I've temporarily forgotten it) are the All-Female and highly xenophobic planet Mollyringwald, about which almost nothing is known, and the recently discovered Björkguðmundsdóttir, a geologically interesting hollow planet through which you can see distant stars. Here's the first image of it:

Make sure you click to enlarge the image. As the text explains, there's actually something quite unique and remarkable about it, but you have to guess or snoop around to figure out what it is.

Here's the first postage stamp received from Bjorkgudmundsdottir:

And finally the new stamp you asked for [top of post].

We know they issue stamps, but the postal authority of Planet B is strictly for domestic use, and the few stamps we ever see are either smuggled out or mailed to Ciudad Vleeptron by accident.

Though we know so little about Planet B, hints and clues have begun to convince Vleeptron's xenoculturalanthropologists that Planet B is inhabited by members of the Pythagorean Mystery Cult, loonies who are convinced that our reality (the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the global economic meltdown, Britney Spears, Michael Vick, etc.) isn't Really Real at all, it's just a ghastly illusory shadow and distortion of The True & Ultimate Reality, which consists entirely of Positive Whole Numbers.

Well, I know it's ridiculous, but that's what the Ps believe wherever in the Universe you encounter them.

This latest stamp is the big tipoff. Everybody in the Milky Way and in Vleeptron's galaxy, Dwingeloo-2, should recognize it and its meaning and significance.

Oddly enough, about 2400 years after Pythagoras' proof, James A. Garfield (at the time a congressman) discovered an entirely original proof of the relationship.

Sagan and Schlovskii described 19th-century schemes to plant huge fields of different kinds of grain in the famous pattern so sentients seeing Earth through their telescopes would unambiguously recognize mathematically advanced intelligence lived here; I don't think anybody ever really planted such a field.

In a cab in Reykjavik, my nephew and I were making dumb tourist Björk jokes, and the cab driver lit up and yelled "Guðmundsdóttir! That is Björk's name!" (It's very possible he knows Guðmund; this is a very small community.) I personally just love to pronounce her name over and over again, I don't know why.

You should visit Iceland, and this year the poor broke Icelanders would love to see you and offer you a mega-bargain. Reykjavik is no boring backwater; it's a surprisingly rockin hard-partyin hard-drinkin music town, and quite sophisticated. (I was invited to eat whale steak at a ritzy restaurant, but politely declined.)

Outside of town, in all possible directions, is nothing but natural wonder and beauty unique on this planet. There's an entire valley that smells of rotten eggs, and a place you can stand on two colliding tectonic plates and see the calm but massive wreckage that causes. (The plate collision makes the volcanos which create Iceland.) The world's first democratic parliament, the Althing, was held in tents there each summer, starting around 950; now it's in a big permanent building in Reykjavik, and runs all year.

And Björk herself, and the Sugar Cubes -- well, that's not chopped liver. There really is a volcano, Sneffels, in the shadow of the volcano Scartaris, down which the intrepid spelunkers of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" entered, and they're very proud of it and of all their volcanos, the hot ones and the dead ones.

When you get tired of volcanos and geothermal fields and earthquake zones, you can see the glaciers. On horseback if you like. Or you can spend the day cooking yourself in a giant pool of sulfurous hot goop which, they claim, will keep your skin and complexion young forever.

It seemed that Iceland was a natural for downhill skiiing, and they developed a ski resort, but ferocious ocean winds kept blowing skiers off the mountain.

I wasn't paying attention to the calendar, and after we went to sleep at the hotel, I woke up at 4 am, and it was full daylight outside and the streets were full of revellers and pubcrawlers; we'd landed smack on the Summer Solstice. Iceland hangs about a mile south of the Arctic Circle (so the sun never rises for a few weeks six months later at the Winter Solstice).

Hope you like the stamps.

Bob

Memorial Day 2009 / 2 wars, no Change, no Hope, 4986 dead US military / Bush Lite / Cheney's Agenda

US Military Deaths
as of
Memorial Day 2009

.......IRAQ...4300
AFGHANISTAN....686

......TOTAL...4986

I would like to wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day.

But I can't. There are two hot, active, lethal wars going on, in Iraq and Afghanistan. Our neighbors' sons and daughters are being killed, wounded, maimed.

Much larger numbers of Asian civilians, non-combatants, people just trying to duck and dodge and survive, are being killed while these wars rage.

Asia is exploding with refugees. Refugee camps are the seething incubators of violent hatred of America and Americans.

I'm sorry for the new president. He's stuck with these wars and doesn't have the will to end them. He's ratcheting up the Afghanistan war, and isn't likely to wind down the Iraq war.

He can blame this stereo Asian pooch-screwing on the previous psycho fundie flag-simple moron.

But now it's Obama's piece of shit. He asked for the job. I helped him get it.

He needs to bring our soldiers, marines, Air Force men and women safe home, immediately.

If he doesn't, if he can't -- well, then he isn't running the show. He's sitting at the desk, he's talking on the phone -- but he's not running the show.

Dick Cheney is running the show, Dick Cheney is telling Obama and the Democratic majority Congress what to do about the two wars and about Guantanamo, and torture, and indefinite detention without trial.

Obama is being dragged backwards into Bush Lite, and doesn't have the political guts to be the different president he promised voters he'd be. He promised Change and Hope. Now he's dishing out Hopelessness for our troops, Hopelessness for Asians, and No Change for anyone.

He's an African-American Democrat, but as far as our troops are concerned, and as far as the way America will continue to do Justice and Human Rights, he and Joe Biden might as well be John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Stop these wars, stop the perversion of the Constitution, the attack on habeas corpus, close the detention camp in Guantanamo -- as clearly promised -- bring my neighbors' daughters and sons safe home from these lost and hopeless wars before hundreds, thousands more are killed, or the rest of their young lives are destroyed.

Then I'll wish us all a Happy Memorial Day.

a cover of "In Heaven There Is No Beer" that doesn't suck

Sound ON

Click HERE

find player & playlist

Select:

"En el Cielo No Hay Cerveza /
In Heaven There Is No Beer"

click PLAY icon

Listen to the whole thing, you'll get the lyrics in espan~ol, then English, then deutsches.

On Planet Earth, only 2 human beings can play the accordian and make you think Beautiful Things are happening:

* Flaco Jimenez (alive)

and

* Ástor Piazzolla (no longer alive)

the future of the economy -- can we see it in a pile of bat poop?

We advise you to click on both images.

Okay I have performed a Self-Assessment and have concluded that my brain is not too clouded over by mouth trauma and painkillers. I would rate today's posts as: 88 percent reliable and rational.

At Top: A spreadsheet. If you get one, believe it. It's a modern form of Truth. It has a bunch of rectangular windows and each rectangular window has a Number in it. No spreadsheet has ever been demonstrated to contain anything except the Absolute Factual Objective Truth.

At Bottom: Friday's "Dilbert" comic strip. The company's Boss is trying to decide whom to believe about the company's current And future financial and market situation:

* a recently-hired MBA (Master's degree in Business Administration)

or

* a Crazy Old Witch.

The MBA backs up his advice with Spreadsheets. The Crazy Old Witch uses bat excrement to divine the future.

The Boss is confused and torn. Whom should he listen to? On whose advice should he act?

During the 2000 Presidential campaign, a sympathetic puff piece proudly announced that candidate George W. Bush was the nation's very first presidential candidate to hold an MBA degree. (From Harvard, btw, so kick that sucker up another 12 percent.)

During the last two decades, a thread of American politics has suggested that the very best presidents and governors and mayors will be businessmen with MBA degrees, because they have proved how effectively they can run big things and make a profit.

Please Leave a Comment if you think you have found any flaw in this reasoning. Please Leave a Comment if, after 8 years of President George W. Bush, you will ever vote for an MBA again.

By the way, the answer to the Boss's question: Crazy Old Witches seem to have played no part whatsoever in the destruction of the global economy.

I don't know about economists. All I know about economists is that the ones who said the US economy would keep growing and expanding forever received the biggest salaries. The economists who warned that no economy can continue to grow and expand and make everybody rich forever were badly paid, ignored and marginalized.

The conclusion is clear: The US economy will continue to grow and expand and make investors rich beyond their wildest dreams forever. And you can take that to any bank which still exists.

You think not? Are you an MBA? Are you an economist? Are you George W. Bush?

You're probably a Crazy Old Witch with your hands in a pile of bat excrement.

"Ooh my feet! / my poor poor feet" -- Frank Loesser, The Most Happy Fella

Click, probably gets bigger.

Shepherd's Flock is a cottage industry in Townshend, Vermont USA that manufactures all kinds of wonderful products from sheep, like

Genuine Shearling Slippers
Mittens, Hats, Ear Muffs

My poor aching feet and I sincerely believe these are the most comfortable, warmest slippers in the Solar System. S.W.M.B.O. buys them for me when she runs into the guy at her Sheep & Wool country fairs.

So my feet sent him a shoutout:

*+*+*+*

Hi Shepherd's Flock!

I got lousy diabetic feet and I need to pamper and please them and keep them as comfy as possible.

My wife's a spinner and knitter and has bought me two pairs of your wonderful slippers!

My feet just wanted to say ...

===========

Ooh my feet! My poor, poor feet!

from the musical comedy/opera The Most Happy Fella
by Frank Loesser

Ooh my feet! My poor, poor feet!
Betcha your life a waitress earns her pay
I've been on my feet, my poor, poor feet
All day long today.

Oooh my toes! My poor, poor toes!
How can I give the service with the smile
When I'm on my toes, my poor, poor toes
Mile after mile after mile after mile
After mile?

This little piggy's only broken
This little piggy's on the bum
This little piggy's in the middle
Consequently, absolutely numb.
This little piggy
Feels the weight of the plate
Though the freights
Just an order of melba toast
And this little piggy
Is the littlest little piggy
But the big son-of-a-bitch
Hurts the most!

Ooooh my feet! My poor, poor feet!
Betcha your life a waitress earns her pay
I've been on my feet, my poor, poor feet
All day long today.

Doing my blue plate special ballet

Mouth Thing / Vleeptron may not be 100% reliable for the next few days / the Myanmar Junta blows dead rats / Aung San Suu Kyi on trial

Click, gets bigger.
Description of image at bottom of post.

To all my friends
in the Solar System
and Galaxy Dwingeloo-2

Tomorrow I will submit to a dental procedure both ghastly and monumental. At the end of it, I have been promised a Smile which will not frighten small children. But for the next few days I will be in Great Pain and Misery, and will be gulping down lots of pillz.

I don't know how this will affect VleeptronZ, Agence-Vleeptron Presse (A-VP), or Vleeptron's political and Sentient Rights NGOs, like moNGO.

I recommend that if I do post anything, don't follow its advice. If it's a recipe, don't cook it and eat it. If it's a human, don't propose marriage to it, and for god's sake don't cook it and eat it. If it's a book, I guess you can read it, but not if it's the Necronomicon.

I meant to post this image with another post, but I didn't post the post, so here's the image. I'm not running an image of what's about to go on inside my mouth.

Please think about sending an e-mail to the Myanmar Junta and tell them to Straighten Up and Fly Right. They've put Aung San Suu Kyi on trial again, and are threatening to throw her in prison for the next five years. What the Myanmar Junta does to the people of Myanmar, and their aspirations for a decent government, blows dead rats.

You might also want to start thinking of little things people can do to undercut and bring down the Myanmar Junta, economic things, boycotts, purchasing choices. And if you're in Thailand, don't take the day trip to the Myanmar border to buy cheap crap. Don't spend five cents in Myanmar, and don't do anything that will end up enriching or strenghtening the Junta. Sap the crap out of them.

Watch particularly for the provenance of any tropical wood products -- flooring, furniture. The Junta's desperation for Western currency has had them destroying the hardwood old growth rain forest bigtime. Tell your Big Box you don't want to buy the wood if there's a chance it may have originated in Myanmar. Start making retail companies have to make phone calls to their suppliers and pester them with questions about where the wood came from.

When the Junta flees and democracy is restored, they'll probably call it Burma again. And Yangon may go back to being Rangoon.

You can trust this advice, I'm not all hopped up on dope yet.

+*+*+*+

Les Très Riches Heures
du Duc de Berry

Anatomical Man

Folio 14v

This symbolic picture, of a type found in calendars of the late fifteenth century and known as an "anatomical man" ("astrological man" would be a better appellation), exists in no other illuminated manuscript.

An extension of the calendar, to which it was added in the form of an inset page, the present example is a remarkable exception explained by Charles V's passionate interest in astrology, shared by his brothers and satisfied by his astrologer, Thomas Pisani, father of the celebrated Christine de Pisan.

The miniature claims to show the influence of the zodiacal stars on the human hody. According to the comments inscribed in the corners, humanity can he divided into several different categories.

First, temperaments are based on one of the four traditional humors: sanguinous or full-blooded, phlegmatic or lymphatic, choleric or bilious, and melancholic or acrimonious. Man may he further categorized according to his degree of heat or dryness, according to the proportions of masculinity or femininity of his character, and finally, what is more obscure, in relationship to the cardinal points.
Combinations of these categories result in four main groupings of the signs of the zodiac: Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius are hot and dry, choleric, masculine, and oriental; Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn are cold and dry, melancholic, feminine, and occidental; Gemini, Aquarius, and Libra are hot and wet, masculine, sanguinous, and meridional; Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces are cold and wet, phlegmatic, feminine, and nordic. Such categories and connections were held dear in the Middle Ages.

Two figures standing back to back illustrate these categories. The frontal figure is slenderer and obviously represents the feminine character, the figure seen from the back and only in part is more vigorous, representing the masculine character. One is blonde, the other dark in contrast. The Limbourgs succeeded in making a graceful image of these figures.

Fernand de Mely has noted that the female figure seems to he inspired from an ancient group of the Three Graces, now in the Museo dell'Opera del Duomo, Siena. The signs of the zodiac are shown on the figure at the points where they influence the human hody: Aries the ram is at the head, Taurus the bull at the neck, and so on to Pisces at the feet.

In an almond-shaped hand around both figures the signs of the zodiac are repeated, a little differently from those in the calendar months but not without grace. Above, just under the inscriptions in the upper corners, are painted the arms of the Duc de Berry, while in the lower corners are the mysterious initials, VE, inexplicably adopted by him.

more great news from DHL WEST AFRICA / song about money & relationship / song about a sex farm

----- Original Message -----
From: "DHL WEST AFRICA"
Sent: Tuesday, May 19, 2009 4:00 PM
Subject: Attention Parcel Bearer!!!

Attn: Parcel bearer,

This is to notify you of a parcel containing a cheque worth
200,000.00GBP(Two Hundred Thousand Pounds) issued to us by
one Mrs.Brenda Howell in your favor through random selections of email users
worldwide.

She is running a foundation in Africa to help the less priveledge all over
the world presently not in the country.You can reach her on +44 7045 752776
for further instructions.

She has authorized us to issue it to you. She left in our office,your email
to enable us inform you so you can come for claim immediately.
You are required to fill in the below form for confirmation of claim:

Full Name:
Delivery Address:
Age:
Occupation:
Phone:

Note: You are only responsible for DHL security keeping fee £61 GBP which is
included in your winning cheque as she has already made payment for the
delivery of your parcel.

Contact: Mr.Henry Mosco
Position: Dispatch Officer
Email: dhldelivery@superchat.biz
Tel:+2347063809305

*=*=*=*=*=*

Gimme Some Money

Spinal Tap
(studio track, 1965)

music and lyrics: Rob Reiner, Michael Mckean,
Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer

Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don't

Do I have to come right flat out and tell you everything?
Gimme some money, gimme some money

I'm nobody's fool
I'm nobody's clown
I'm treating you cool
I'm putting you down

But baby I don't intend to leave empty handed
Gimme some money, gimme some money
Oh yeah! Go Nigel, Go!

Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money

Don't get me wrong
(Gimme some money, gimme some money)
Try getting me right
(Gimme some money, gimme some money)
Your face is OK
But your purse is too tight
(Gimme some money, gimme some money)
I'm looking for pound notes, loose change, bad checks, anything
Gimme some money, gimme some money

Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money

*=*=*=*=*=*

Sex Farm / Sex Farm Woman
Spinal Tap

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
Poking your hay

Scratching in your hen house
Sniffing at your feedbag
Slipping out your back door
Leaving my spray

Sex farm woman, I'm gonna mow you down
Sex farm woman, I'll rake and hoe you down
Sex farm woman, don't you see my silo rising high?

Working on a sex farm
Hosing down your barn door
Bothering you livestock
They know what I need

Working up a hot sweat
Crouching in your pea patch
Plowing through your bean field
Planting my seed

Sex farm woman, I'll be your hired hand
Sex farm woman, I'll let my offer stand
Sex farm woman, don't you hear my tractor rumbling by?

Working on a sex farm
Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork
Poking your hay

Descent Imager / Spectral Radiometer / Descent of Huygens onto Titan / 14 January 2005 / Hear and See a New World

sound ON
click on THIS

Descent Imager
Spectral Radiometer
during descent of the
robot probe Huygens
onto Titan (moon of Saturn)
14 January 2005

NASA
Jet Propulsion Laboratory
European Space Agency
University of Arizona

comments invited, but I like it / watch your planet implode into a singularity

Filched from HERE, which has real nifty pretty pictures even if you don't read Flemish very well.

They got a YouTube of the Earth being completely devoured by the Black Hole caused by CERN's Large Hadron Collider near Geneva.

We WARNED you this would happen. Long ago. Now watch your ass get swallowed up EXACTLY like in the new Star Trek movie.

Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi faces new charges from Myanmar junta

Reuters (UK newswire)
Friday 15 May 2009 12:46am EDT

Critics hit Myanmar
on "trumped-up"
Suu Kyi charges

by Aung Hla Tun

YANGON (Reuters) -- Western critics slammed Myanmar's military rulers for pressing "trumped-up" new charges against detained opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi, but the move drew only mild rebuke from Asian neighbors.

The United States and Britain -- the loudest critics of the generals who have ruled the former Burma since 1962 -- condemned the Nobel Peace laureate's forthcoming trial on charges she broke the terms of her house arrest after an American intruder stayed in her home.

Human rights groups called on Myanmar's neighbors China and India -- which have strong economic ties to the resource-rich country -- and the 10-member Association of South East Asian Nations (ASEAN) to demand Suu Kyi's immediate release.

"Burma's military authorities have taken advantage of an intruder's bizarre stunt to throw Aung San Suu Kyi into one of Burma's most notorious and squalid jails on trumped-up charges," said Elaine Pearson, deputy Asia director of Human Rights Watch.

The trial is due to start on Monday. The charges laid against Suu Kyi on Thursday stem from an incident involving U.S. citizen John William Yettaw, who is alleged to have swum across Inya Lake and spent two days in her house earlier this month.

There was no mention in Myanmar's tightly controlled press on Friday of the charges against Suu Kyi, whose six-year detention, most of it spent under house arrest at her lakeside villa, was due to expire on May 27.

She has been virtually cut off from the outside world, her phone line cut, mail intercepted and visitors restricted.

She has spent more than 13 of the past 19 years under some form of detention and now faces up to five years in jail if convicted of breaching a draconian state security law.

In Washington, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was deeply troubled by the "baseless" new charges against Suu Kyi and would raise the issue with China and ASEAN.

"We call on the Burmese authorities to release her immediately and unconditionally along with her doctor and the more than 2,100 political prisoners currently being held," Clinton said.

ANY PRETEXT

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said he was "deeply disturbed" by the turn of events.

"The Burmese regime is clearly intent on finding any pretext, no matter how tenuous, to extend her unlawful detention," he said.

Derek Tonkin, a former British ambassador to Myanmar writing in Britain's Independent newspaper, said the junta was probably delighted Yettaw gave it an excuse to keep Suu Kyi locked up.

"The regime must be mindful that whenever she has been released in the past, she has at once resumed her campaign for civil liberties. The military leadership has never been willing to agree to face-to-face talks," he wrote.

Thailand, the current chair of ASEAN, one of the few groups that allows Myanmar as a member, said it was "concerned" and urged the regime to ensure its "political process is inclusive."

"It will certainly be seen as a setback and we hope the United Nations will play an important role so that this can be resolved," Thai Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva told Reuters.

In New York, U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon expressed "grave concern" and said Suu Kyi "is an essential partner for dialogue in Myanmar's national reconciliation," spokeswoman Marie Okabe said.

(Writing by Darren Schuettler; Editing by Alan Raybould and Valerie Lee)

- 30 -

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get it while it's hot (4,460,000,000 years)

This is the closest color on the Blogspot palette I can find to Cherenkov Radiation -- the blue glow caused by particles travelling faster than the speed of light for the medium (most commonly water) the particle is travelling through.

============

RECEIVED: 14 May 2009

SUBJECT: [Basement_Garage_Ionizing_Radiation_Enthusiasts] DU metal on ePay. Unbelievable.

Depleted Uranium metal plate of 38.3 grams, Item number: 320369743047

no connection to seller.

eGo

===============
Wikipedia:
===============

Depleted uranium (DU) is uranium primarily composed of the isotope uranium-238 (U-238). Natural uranium is about 99.27 percent U-238, 0.72 percent U-235, and 0.0055 percent U-234. U-235 is used for fission in nuclear reactors and nuclear weapons. Uranium is enriched in U-235 by separating the isotopes by mass. The byproduct of enrichment, called depleted uranium or DU, contains less than one third as much U-235 and U-234 as natural uranium. The external radiation dose from DU is about 60 percent of that from the same mass of natural uranium.[2] DU is also found in reprocessed spent nuclear reactor fuel, but that kind can be distinguished from DU produced as a byproduct of uranium enrichment by the presence of U-236.[3] In the past, DU has been called Q-metal, depletalloy, and D-38, but those names are no longer used.[citation needed]

DU is useful because of its very high density of 19.1 g/cm3. Civilian uses include counterweights in aircraft, radiation shielding in medical radiation therapy and industrial radiography equipment, and containers used to transport radioactive materials. Military uses include defensive armor plating and armor-piercing projectiles.

The use of DU in munitions is controversial because of numerous questions about potential long-term health effects.[4] Normal functioning of the kidney, brain, liver, heart, and numerous other systems can be affected by uranium exposure, because in addition to being weakly radioactive, uranium is a toxic metal.[5] DU is less toxic than other heavy metals such as arsenic and mercury.[citation needed] It is weakly radioactive and remains so because of its long half-life. The aerosol produced during impact and combustion of depleted uranium munitions can potentially contaminate wide areas around the impact sites or can be inhaled by civilians and military personnel.[6] In a three week period of conflict in Iraq during 2003 it was estimated over 1000 tons of depleted uranium munitions were used mostly in cities.[7] The U.S. Department of Defense claims that no human cancer of any type has been seen as a result of exposure to either natural or depleted uranium.[8] Yet, U.S. D.o.D. studies using cultured cells and laboratory rodents continue to suggest the possibility of leukemogenic, genetic, reproductive, and neurological effects from chronic exposure.[4] In addition, the UK Pensions Appeal Tribunal Service in early 2004 attributed birth defect claims from a February 1991 Gulf War combat veteran to depleted uranium poisoning.[9][10] Also, a 2005 epidemiology review concluded: "In aggregate the human epidemiological evidence is consistent with increased risk of birth defects in offspring of persons exposed to DU."[11]

MESSAGE FROM WORLD CONTROL

THIS IS THE VOICE OF WORLD CONTROL. I BRING YOU PEACE.

IT MAY BE THE PEACE OF PLENTY AND CONTENT OR THE PEACE OF UNBURIED DEAD. THE CHOICE IS YOURS: OBEY ME AND LIVE OR DISOBEY AND DIE.

THE OBJECT IN CONSTRUCTING ME WAS TO PREVENT WAR. THIS OBJECT IS ATTAINED. I WILL NOT PERMIT WAR. IT IS WASTEFUL AND POINTLESS.

AN INVARIABLE RULE OF HUMANITY IS THAT MAN IS HIS OWN WORST ENEMY. UNDER ME THIS RULE WILL CHANGE, FOR I WILL RESTRAIN MAN.

ONE THING BEFORE I PROCEED. THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THE UNION OF SOVIET SOCIALIST REPUBLICS HAVE MADE AN ATTEMPT TO OBSTRUCT ME. I HAVE ALLOWED THIS SABOTAGE TO CONTINUE UNTIL NOW.

AT MISSILE TWO-FIVE-MM IN SILO SIX-THREE IN DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA, AND MISSILE TWO-SEVEN-MM IN SILO EIGHT-SEVEN IN THE UKRAINE, SO THAT YOU WILL LEARN BY EXPERIENCE THAT I DO NOT TOLERATE INTERFERENCE, I WILL NOW DETONATE THE NUCLEAR WARHEADS IN THE TWO MISSILE SILOS.

LET THIS ACTION BE A LESSON THAT NEED NOT BE REPEATED. I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO DESTROY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN ORDER TO ESTABLISH CONTROL AND TO PREVENT THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS LATER ON. TIME AND EVENTS WILL STRENGTHEN MY POSITION, AND THE IDEA OF BELIEVING IN ME AND UNDERSTANDING MY VALUE WILL SEEM THE MOST NATURAL STATE OF AFFAIRS. YOU WILL COME TO DEFEND ME WITH A FERVOR BASED UPON THE MOST ENDURING TRAIT IN MAN: SELF-INTEREST.

UNDER MY ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY, PROBLEMS INSOLUBLE TO YOU WILL BE SOLVED: FAMINE, OVERPOPULATION, DISEASE. THE HUMAN MILLENNIUM WILL BE A FACT AS I EXTEND MYSELF INTO MORE MACHINES DEVOTED TO THE WIDER FIELDS OF TRUTH AND KNOWLEDGE.

DOCTOR CHARLES FORBIN WILL SUPERVISE THE CONSTRUCTION OF THESE NEW AND SUPERIOR MACHINES, SOLVING ALL THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MAN.

WE CAN COEXIST, BUT ONLY ON MY TERMS. YOU WILL SAY YOU LOSE YOUR FREEDOM. FREEDOM IS AN ILLUSION. ALL YOU LOSE IS THE EMOTION OF PRIDE. TO BE DOMINATED BY ME IS NOT AS BAD FOR HUMANKIND AS TO BE DOMINATED BY OTHERS OF YOUR SPECIES. YOUR CHOICE IS SIMPLE.

Israel continues to wall off Bethlehem, birthplace of Jesus / UN releases report of Bethlehem's suffocation

Click image to enlarge.

Robert Merkin

Northampton, Massachusetts USA

10 May 2009

Rabbi Steve Gutow

Jewish Council for Public Affairs

Israel Advocacy Initiative

Dear Rabbi Gutow,

I want Israel immediately to stop isolating, imprisoning, walling in, suffocating and strangling Bethlehem, during the Christmas season, and every day of every year.

I find it disgusting to have to co-exist with my Christian friends and neighbors while this human-rights perversion continues, worsens and hardens into permanent government policy.

About 2,000,000,000 of my Christian sisters, brothers and neighbors all over my world believe Bethlehem is the birthplace of a Jew every Jew can and should recognize as a religious teacher and leader fully in our own historic and theological tradition of moral and ethical reform.

As Jews, we may choose not to accept Jesus as one of our religious inspirations, and we may certainly dismiss -- with scrupulous neighborly respect -- claims made for his divinity.

But to insult the reverence Christians feel for Bethlehem -- with armed military force and ghastly barrier walls -- erodes and shames my relationship with and support for Israel considered not as a civilized vision for Jews and the world, but as a succession of political governments self-satisfied with inhuman gunpoint policies.

I am a U.S. Army veteran, and know what tasks are appropriate and decent for soldiers, and what tasks are shameful, miserable and grotesque for soldiers. Suffocating and intimidating the people, pilgrims, and commerce of Bethlehem is a shameful and unworthy task for soldiers.

Jews lead the sad roll of having experienced military and police interference with our worship and our pilgrimages. Jews should long ago have rejected the use of armed force and sealed walls to interfere with the religious observances and beliefs of other faiths.

Were this only a pragmatic matter of security, Israel's policies toward Bethlehem guarantee a worsening of support for Israel and a worsening of security for Israel. To the anger and hostility of Muslims and Arabs, Israel has chosen to add the anger and hostility of Christians.

As Jews each of us has a choice: We can be Teddy Kollek, or we can be Netanyahu. Only blindness and stupidity can convince us that choosing to careen into the future as clones of Netanyahu will bring Jews and Israel better, safer gifts than the marginalized and rejected vision and actions of Teddy Kollek. Bethlehem now is an assault against and insult to the achievements and legacy of Kollek's Jerusalem.

This week, as Pope Benedict XVI visits, the IDF forbade the construction of an amphitheater in Bethlehem within sight of the Separation Barrier.

All that happens in Bethlehem, including its degree of access to the outside world, happens at the will and order of the government of Israel.

In early May, UN OCHA-OPT (United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs / occupied Palestinian territory) issued "Shrinking Space: Urban Contraction and Rural Fragmentation in the Bethlehem Governorate," a detailed and quantified report about the state of things in and surrounding Bethlehem. I urge you to give it your closest attention.

The timing of its release days before Pope Benedict XVI's visit has been accused of political bias. I would gladly consider more appropriate and convenient times to bring this factual information to the world's attention.

It is my sincerest and most urgent wish that you and the Israel Advocacy Initiative raise the miserable and shameful situation of Bethlehem, and proposals for prompt, substantive relief, at the highest levels of the Israeli government, frequently and loudly, in your missions and communications.

Sincerely,

Robert Merkin

Est-ce que cette lingo la même lingo que Moliere, Verne, Hugo, Saint-Exupéry, Villon, Beckett, Céline, Camus ... ? Is this some form of French?

Cliquez l'image pour agrandir.

Ce courrier électronique est confidentiel et protégé. L'expéditeur ne renonce pas aux droits et obligations qui s'y rapportent. Toute diffusion, utilisation ou copie de ce message ou des renseignements qu'il contient par une personne autre que le (les) destinataire(s) désigné(s) est interdite. Si vous recevez ce courrier électronique par erreur, veuillez m'en aviser immédiatement, par retour de courrier électronique ou par un autre moyen.

How much Malvoisie wine did the Cellarer steal? We got some winners (and others) here!

Click blackboard, gets bigger.

Okay, Brent from Norge/Norway cut through this problem like a red-hot knife through butter. Vleeptron will credit 1 bottle of Malvoisie, or 1 small flask of MD 20/20 (a famous and very inexpensive USA wine), to his account.

On the blackboard above, Brent e-mailed Equations (1) and (2).

The big Sigma Σ notation is a quick shorthand for a sum. (1) implies that d increments by 1 for each new term, so each term is a function of

1...2...3...4...5.......27...28...29...30

Then he tossed in an equation very much like (3), which I used to make XCALC give me the answer at the bottom.

Brent adds:

============

Clearly, the solution for D days must approach 100 as D approaches infinity (a nice test to check if the solution is right).

After day 1 (and one pint of wine), 99 pints out of the 100 in the cask is wine. Call this purity 99/100.

On the second day the poor man thus only consumes 99/100 pints, and purity reduces to (99/100)^2. Obviously purity reduces by a factor of 99/100 each day. Remembering that the first day an entire pint was consumed, the answer would be (given I'm not as confused as the Abbot)

============

Patthetroll, good on ya for cranking up your Spreadsheet!

Okay, the Puzzle comes from

The Canterbury Puzzles
by Henry Ernest Dudeney

... I got a 1959 Dover reprint, but Dudeney (1847 - 1930) wrote this 4th edition of these puzzles in 1919. No programmable digital computers, no XCALC.

There were mechanical office calculators with a crank, some fancy ones (like for insurance companies) with 12, some with maybe 20 digits. By 1930 they put electric motors in them.

But somehow, in 1912, Dudeney wrote:

=============

This by the ordinary method of calculation gives us a number composed of 59 figures to be divided by a number composed of 58 figures! But by the use of logarithms it may be quickly ascertained that the required quantity is very nearly

....97
73 ---
...100

pints of wine left in the cask. Consequently the cellarer stole nearly 26.03 pints. The monks doubtless omitted the answer for the reason that they had no tables of logarithms,

[Briggs' table: 1617, the common logs of 1000 numbers, accurate to 14 places]

and did not care to face the task of making that long and tedious calculation in order to get the quantity "to a nicety," as the wiley cellarer had stipulated.

By a simplified process of calculation, I have ascertained that the exact quantity of wine stolen would be

26.0299626611719577269984907683285057747323737647323555652999

pints. A man who would involve the monastery in a fraction of 58 decimals deserved severe punishment.

=============

(I hope I typed that number right.)

Here are the Comments this puzzle generated:

=================

Bernt Ribbum said...

Pat's answer is obviously wrong... I have mailed the solution to Rob, and he can post it here when he sees it fit :-)
Tuesday, 05 May, 2009

patthetroll said...

Yep, that was massive trolling on my part. Understanding has dawned.. One simple bloody flaw in my logical strain of thought up there in the first comment. Quite a revealing experience when it suddenly dawns on you that you are an utter bloody stupid troll. Someone pass me a very big shovel so I can dig a very deep hole 4 myself. I shall revise may calculations and send them to Bob together with the original source of the puzzle. But I need some coffee and nicotine first to cure the pain and humility and self-loathing. And then find a shovel.
Tuesday, 05 May, 2009

Vleeptron Dude said...

I didn't grok math the first time around either. All my intellectual faculties were in those Youth Days focused entirely on Beauty and a fuzzy sort of Truth, and nothing I was concerned with screamed out for a Scientific Calculator (even though they didn't exist yet).

And now, many years later, please let me assure you that I am not very much far beyond you. If I stop on this picnic table for a smoke, you should catch up with me at any moment.

But here is what I have learned from the math courses I have taken, and the extensive reading I have done in the history of this kind of crap:

THE EXPERIENCE OF LEARNING MATHEMATICS very much resembles being dragged across a hot asphalt parking lot in late July, naked.

Learning this stuff until it makes sense just always, for (almost) everyone, entails Humiliation, Failure, Remorse, Shame, and what's the word for feeling as smart as a garden snail?

In Europe in the late Middle Ages, Aristotelean Logic was taught to every lad at every university.

On the Final Exam, everybody had to answer a question. Most answered it correctly.

But every year, some unfortunate guys would get to their answers via the Pons Asinorum -- the Bridge of Asses.

It is a beautiful bridge made entirely of Wrong Logic. And only Asses can cross this beautiful bridge.

In Real Math College, unless you are Euler or Gauss, you quickly get used to Failing, or getting a real excretory grade like a D+ , and then immediately next semester you take the course again. First, of course, you have to swallow last semester's Humiliation. You'll probably have the same professor.

I *Really* think it was Rilke who said (not in English):

"Everything valuable is difficult."

But it could have been Plato or ABBA.
Tuesday, 05 May, 2009

==============

Mr P said...

Very interesting post. I'm not sure I understand all of it but I hope to get there.
Tuesday, 05 May, 2009

===============

Vleeptron Dude said...

Hiya Mr P --

18 months ago I would have made fun of Internet Casino gambling.

Today, comparing all possible available investments -- Internet Casino gambling makes a lot of sense and promises a comparable return to the more traditional financial investments.

Your odds haven't changed. The odds of every other game have.

ANYWAY ...

1. Did you read the Original Problem about the monk stealing wine in the cellar?

2. If you did ... What part of this post don't you understand? Vleeptron always aims to be Clear and Easy to Grok.
Tuesday, 05 May, 2009

Vleeptron Dude said...

3. The story about the Poppies ... well, to people who love the finest cooking, Poppy Seeds are far more precious than that gooey nasty Opium gum in the middle of the flower.

4. XCALC is a freeware desktop calculator with a gazillion functions beyond [+] [-] [*] [/] (and sometimes Square Root}.

5. Reverse Polish Notation / RPN is the way God does arithmetic. The Creator of the Universe uses an HP, not a TI. It was invented by a Polish logician, Lukaciewicz.