a translation of "The Poor Miller's Boy and the Little Cat" that doesn't suck

"Cat Princess," oil by Ruth Sanderson

Complaints, complaints, nothing but complaints. Look, I found the translation -- probably an oldie from the 19th century -- on the U-Michigan Sci-Fi/Fantasy website and used it because it was there, a quick Copy-Paste Job. I didn't realize everybody was going to subject the translation to extensive Deconstruction and linguistic analysis. Well, okay, it sucks, happy?

You know what they say about Children's Publishing: It's a Bunny-Eat-Bunny World.

Here's one that doesn't suck. And it took me 90 minutes to re-type the goddam thing. My fingers are bleeding. Happy? Lore Segal was born and grew up in Vienna/Wien, and during the War fled to the United States via a stopover in the Dominican Republic. She's a novelist and a retired literature professor. If she finds this, I guess I owe her $25 or something like that. Go out and buy the whole "Juniper Tree" with magnificent illustrations by Maurice Sendak. Then read the stories to little kids. Yes. Read these stories to little kids. Don't read synthetic artificial modern stories to little kids. Read them The Hard Stuff -- Grimm, 1001 Nights. They need it, and it's their legacy and heritage. These stories have belonged to children for 10,000 years, and modern adults have no right to hide these stories from them.

Of course I don't expect you to believe me about all this. Go out and read "The Uses of Enchantment" by Bruno Bettleheim. He'll explain why children need these stories.

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from "The Juniper Tree and Other Tales from Grimm," translation Copyright (c) 1973 by Lore Segal.

The Poor Miller's Boy
and the Little Cat

In a mill lived an old miller who had neither wife nor children, and three young fellows worked for him. One day when they had been with him for some years, he said, "I am getting old; I want to sit behind the oven and take my ease. Go out into the world, and whichever one brings home the best horse shall have the mill and in return he must take care of me unti I die." Now the third young boy was only an apprentice. The two others took him for a simpleton and begrudged him the mill, though as it turned out in the end, he didn't even want it. So the three of them set out, and as they were leaving the village, the two said to simple John, "You might just as well stay here, you'll never get a horse as long as you live." But John went along anyway and at nightfall they came to a cave and went in and lay down to sleep. The two smart ones waited till John had fallen asleep, then they got up and made off and left Johnny lying there and thought they had done something very clever; oh, but it won't do you a bit of good! When the sun came up, John woke and there he lay deep in a cave. He peered all around and cried, "Dear God! Where am I!" and he rose and scrambled out of the cave and went into the forest and thought, Here I am, alone and forsaken. How shall I ever get a horse! And as he was walking along deep in thought he met a little speckled cat that spoke kindly to him and said, "Where are you off to, John?" "Oh, it's nothing you can help me with." "I know very well what it is you want," said the little cat. "You want a pretty horse. Come with me and be my faithful servant for seven years and I will give you one more handsome than anything you've seen in your whole life." What a strange cat, thought John, but I might as well go along and see if she is telling the truth. And so she took him with her to her bewitched little palace where she had nothing but cats to wait on her. They leaped nimbly up and down the stairs, happy and full of fun. In the evening, when they sat down to supper, there were three who made music; one played the double bass, another the violin, and the third put the trumpet to her mouth and blew up her cheeks for all she was worth. When they had eaten, the table was removed and the cat said, "Come, John, dance with me." "No," said he, "I don't dance with pussycats. That's something I have never done." "Then take him up to bed," she said to the little cats. So then one lighted him to his bedroom, one took off his shoes, one his stockings, and finally one blew out his candle. The next morning they came back and helped him out of bed; one put on his stockings, one tied his garters, one fetched his shoes, one washed him, and one dried his face with her tail. "That feels nice and soft," said John. John himself had to wait on the cat. Every day he had to chop firewood and had a silver ax to do it with, and the wedges and the saw were all made of silver and the mallet was of copper. Well, and so he chopped and chopped and stayed in that house, had plenty of food and drink but never saw a soul except the speckled cat and her household. One day she said, "Go and mow the meadow and dry the hay," and she gave him a silver scythe and a golden whetstone and told him to be sure to bring everything back, and so John went and did as he was told and when he was finished he brought scythe, whetstone and hay back home and said wasn't she going to give him his earnings. "No," said the cat, "first you must do one more thing. Here is silver lumber, and the carpenter's axe, the square, and everything you need all made of silver. Build me a little house with it." Well, and so John built the little house and when it was finished he said now he had done everything and still he didn't have a horse. And yet the seven years had passed as if they were six months. The cat asked him if he wouldn't like to see her horses. "Yes," said John, so she opened the little house and as she is opening up the door there are these twelve horses standing there and oh, weren't they proud-looking, and didn't they shine and gleam like mirrors, it made his heart leap for joy. So then she gave him food and drink and said, "Go home. I won't give you your horse to take with you. In three days I will come and bring it after you." So then John got ready to leave and she showed him the way to the mill. But she hadn't even given him a new suit of clothes and he had to wear the old ragged smock he came in that had grown too short and tight for him in those seven years. Now when he got home, the two others were back as well, and though they had each brought a horse, the horse of one was blind and the other's horse was lame. They asked, "John, where's your horse?" "It's being sent after me in three days." They laughed and said, "Yes, John. Sure, John! Where would you get a horse? This is going to be something!" John came inside but the miller said they couldn't have him sitting at the table, he was so torn and ragged one would be ashamed if somebody dropped in, so they gave him a little bit of food to take outside; and in the evneing, when they lay down to sleep, the two others would not let him in the bed, and he had to crawl into the goose pen and he lay down on a little hard straw. And in the morning he wakes up and the three days have already passed and here comes a carriage drawn by six horses; my, it was a pleasure to see how they gleamed, and there's this servant and he's brought yet a seventh horse, which is for the poor miller's apprentice. But out of the carriage there stepped this magnificent princess and she came into the mill and the princess was the little speckled cat that poor John had served for seven years, she asked the miller where's the boy, the miller's apprentice? So then the miller says, "We couldn't have him in the mill he's so ragged, he's lying outside in the goose pen." So then the princess said they should go and get him at once. Well, so they went and got him out and he had to hold his little smock together to cover himself. And the servant unpacked magnificent clothes and washed him and dressed him, and when he was ready no king could have been more handsome. After that the lady asked to see the horses which the others had brought and one horse was blind and the other lame. So then she had the servant bring the seventh horse. When the miller saw it, he said that nothing like it had ever entered his yard. "Well, this is for the apprentice," said she. "Then he shall have the mill," said the miller, but the princess said he could have the horse and he could keep his mill and takes her faithful John and puts him in the carriage and drives off with him. And they drive to the little house he built with the silver tools and it is a great palace and everything in it is silver and gold and she marries him and he is rich -- so rich he had plenty of everything as long as he lived. And that is why nobody should say that a simple person can never amount to anything.