Yes, I certainly recommend clicking on the image.
This is V.2 and I like it so much and feel it has broken through the High-Class Faux Postage Stamp Barrier (the Evans Minimum Barrier) that I Copyrighted it. Here, I'll Copyright it again:
Copyright (c) 2008 by Robert Merkin,
All Rights Reserved.
All Rights Reserved.
Now please listen carefully. This Mysterious Object is a PizzaQ: What Is It?
This is Important. Really. This is not one of my screwy Math Things which are of utterly no importance or imaginable significance to Real Human Beings. The Mysterious Object is not a Pronate bi-Diverculated Semilorp, which is central to the famous Proof of the Lateral Beans Conjecture, first posed by Skapo Gank in 1593.
Everybody, and I mean Everybody, ought to recocognize one of these things whenever they see one. Little children should know what this is so they do not run up to it and hug it or try to urinate on it. Adults ditto.
This is a Thing in the Physical Reality and Spacetime in which you yourselves dwell. Shit, for all you or I know, there might be some of these Things 11 kilometers down the road from you. And you ought to know it when you see it.
To win the Pizza -- I'm upping it to 1/2 Large Pizza, and it's pineapple and anchovies -- you got to
1. Identify the Mysterious Object accurately enough to be entirely Beyond Any Ambiguity.
Actually I may be a prick and demand the Model Number, 'cause I know the Model Number, and you should, too.
2. Give a brief but accurate description of the A thing and the B thing.
Right, right, you're demanding Hints.
The denomination of the stamp is not some number I pulled out of my ass arbitrarily, but has an important association with The Mysterious Object.
Oh, and I guess I could add: Planet Vleeptron has none of these Objects.
SPECIAL PIZZA BONUS: And also, for 4 slices with olives and garlic ...
What is the technical (English) word for all the crap on this sheet of 4 stamps which is OUTSIDE the perforations -- that is, what's the word for all the crap which is not part of the stamps themselves?
(Uwe should know this. But so should all Civilized Sentients.)
I'm serious. I really don't want this PizzaQ to rot and fester and start to give off a smelly odor on this blog for months or years unanswered. Somebody out there should take a stab at this one.
NOT knowing this is like your significant other telling you that a rhinoceros has been sitting in the living room for the last ten years. It is Dangerously Unobservant & Inattentive not to know what this Mysterious Object is.
Oh, maybe you think: Hey, buddy, I live in Turkmenistan, I don't have to know your dumb American shit. You fucking Americans always think your crap is so important. Whatever the fuck it is, it's not important to me.
Just keep thinking like that, Tovarich. Marry that Attitude. Embrace your Bliss.
9 comments:
Fine. It's the nose cone of a nuclear missle. A is the trigger, and B is the fuel. Boom.
!!!
Well ... definitely get out your knife and fork ... that's astonishingly correct and sufficiently Unambiguous. Clearly no one can accuse you of confusing the Mysterious Object with a fire hydrant.
But can you cook up the Model Number?
I won't force you to declare if it's a fission or fusion warhead because obviously you know it's a thermonuclear or hydrogen fusion device. A, the trigger, is a plutonium fission device. B I seem to remember is mostly deuterium or heavy hydrogen.
Can you pull some hair out of your scalp and figure out why the stamp's denomination is 400?
If you wanted to get close to one or many of these suckers, where would you buy a Greyhound bus ticket to?
How big is its ka-boom?
Oh ... and the Bonus question ... what do you call the crap that's not inside the perforations of the stamps?
And uhhh how do you know what one of these thingies looks like so readily? (I'm slightly embarrassed to confess that what they really look like is brand-new news to me.)
But you may get your napkins and your shaker cheese and hot pepper flakes if you like them on your pizza.
It just seems to me that everybody ought to know what one of these things looks like just before you and all the neighbors in the Quad-County Area are vaporized into their constituent atoms.
Wholly off topic.
Did you know this?
http://yankeeoxford.blogspot.com/2008/01/did-you-know-this.html
SELVAGE.
Best Uwe
Okay! That's the stuff! Uwe wins the Bonus Pizza for the Selvage!
... now if I can just bribe him to very schnell draw his own portrait of Struwwelpeter ... oder Der eiserne Heinrich, I love Der eiserne Heinrich when the iron bands around his broken heart burst with joy,
* * *
Oh ... the 3 Planets of the Dwingeloo-2 Galaxy in the Selvage appear to bear some resemblence to 3 images of Planet Saturn taken in different frequencies of the spectrum by the Hubble Space Telescope. I always get my planets mixed up when I travel between these galaxies.
That would be a W-88 three stage thermonuclear warhead. The "400" on your stamps I assume to be the yield in kilotons, but you are low. The W88 is rated at 475kt, although it may use "dial a yield", and adjust the yield by injecting more or less Tritium before detonation. Pu239 and 3H Tritium in the Primary, 3H Tritium and Lithium Deuteride in the Secondary. The perimeter fence of a US nuclear missle submarine base is the closest you can get without joining the Navy and getting a clearance.
( ... sound of very large wild animal trap snapping shut ... )
Gotcha! After three years of blog-whoring in my posta, I finally lured a member of the Geiger Counter Enthusiasts to Vleeptron!
I just wasn't using the right bait. For these people, you have to use fusion or fission devices, or a big lump of radium.
Hiya tychohounder! You rock! Pizza for you! It is indeed a W88! (Or the best extra-classified guess of what they look like.)
VERY GOOD guess about the 400, but actually 400 is what my reading indicated is the number of W88s curently remaining in the US nuclear inventory.
Shame on me for saying deuterium rather than tritium. (Whiney teenage voice:) I knew that!
And yeah, that was what I was fishing for, that the closest ordinary mortals can get to these things is the outside of a submarine base. For decades this model was the staple of missile-launching Navy "boomers."
Anyway, e-mail me if you're gonna be near Northampton MA for your Pizza (hope you like anchovies and pineapple) or let me know where you are and if I'm in the hood take me to your favorite pizzeria!
Okay, I'll let you out of the trap now. Thanks for answering the PizzaQ and please drop by Vleeptron again! We got lots more ionizing radiation sources and detection gizmos than any other blog in the blogosphere! Leave more comments! Make us smarter!
Um, I knew, but I thought that info was still classified. I used to go on pleasure cruises with similar things. For an exercise once, we had to calculate in our heads the maximum amount of kiloton damage the warheads our submarine was carrying if we set the 'dial-a-yield' on maximum. Oh, and we had four minutes to do it.
Actually, it might still be classified for you to know that I knew what that was. I dunno any more. If I disappear, it's coz the gummint done carried me away.
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